adelphoi | (no subject)

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[ never before has alisaie so deeply, keenly known what it is to feel bittersweet.

arriving on hydaelyn again, surrounded by the familiar walls of the rising stones, eorzea's peoples and lands safe, restored, full - is it not what she had dreamt of since first she awoke in that icy pod? since she looked out over a wide vista of stars and attempted to process the fact that her home was gone? mourning an entire world had been a monumental effort, and when the news had come that their homes could yet be salvaged she had never been more relieved.

that relief, of course, had been soon followed by a sweeping despair. they were to return home, and only home, the natha had a duty to fulfill, to see to it that everything was restored exactly as it was, no exception, no compromise. for the greater good, they had insisted, and alisaie's heart had broken clean in two. she had made so many connections, so many close friends, she had carved a life out for herself on el nysa and -

- and prompto. to lose him forever was an ache she could not bear. she had already lost so much, so many, and to lose him.. of course she fought. she railed and shouted herself hoarse, she petitioned the natha again and again, begged, but they would not be moved. and so she was home again, surrounded by familiar walls and familiar friends, but on her clothing she could still smell prompto's skin, the sensation of his last kiss clinging to her mouth like a ghost.

a week of stunned grieving was all she allowed herself, but alisaie would not be defeated. traveling to other worlds.. it is possible, she has seen it done. the ascians, the warriors of the first - all had traveled between the planes, and alisaie was entirely certain, with all of her heart, that his eos was one of the many echoes, the worlds connected to her own by the sundering of the mothercrystal. prompto was gone and yet he still somehow felt so very close, just out of reach of her touch, her voice, her heart.

the pregnancy, of course, had been.. entirely unexpected. the natha had rendered them sterile, but she can only assume that they had reversed it some time before their restoration of their homes, long enough for him to quicken within her womb and leave her with a soul to remember him by, a sweet child with her own dark eyes and prompto's fair hair, and smile, and laugh that breaks her heart to hear. but gods she loves him, this little sunshine boy who thrives on touch and love, who sleeps well and smiles often and gives her the extra drive she needs to work, to finish, to find the way to drive open the doorway between their worlds. it is unstable, and unable to linger for long, it is entirely possible that this is a one-way trip, that she will never be able to find her way back, and that is all that stalls her. prompto is her heart, her husband, the mother of her child - but hydaelyn is her home, her family is here, and the thought of leaving her brother behind forever, leaving urianger, and the scions..

gods, it is nearly enough to unmake her, to convince her to abandon her work.

but they remind her, all of them, that prompto too is her family, that their child deserves to know his father, that if she does not make this step she will never see him again. she will.. simply have to do it again, to find a way to keep the doorway open. and if she has not, at least she has said her goodbyes, she has made her peace, and decided what it is that she needs.

and so that is what brings her here at last, to eos, where the air is thick with darkness, where the aether is in upheaval. gods, this is the home he had returned to? this is where he has been? the atmosphere is heady and oppressive, the roads swarmed with terrible daemons. she had made the right decision.

finding him, however, was much more difficult. finding her way to a well lit station had been difficult enough in a foreign world, and she had learned quickly to arrange her hair to cover her ears, avoiding questions she does not have the time to answer. but soon enough she had learned of him, where he was, and how to arrive there - to a city called lestallum, the last great bastion against the doom hovering on the horizon.

alisaie's heart is pounding when she arrives before the worn wooden door, in a narrow staircase with yellow walls, the paint peeling and the light harsh. she's ruffled and dusty with travel, exhausted and anxious, smelling of sweat and chocobo but once she had arrived in the city she could not bring herself to wait another second before searching him out, finding him. hefting the sleeping child higher on her hip, alisaie presses a kiss to his pale blonde head, taking a deep, stilling breath.

and she knocks. ]

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[ It all comes back so quickly. The shape of her mouth, the way her lips move against him, her smell and her taste and gods he'd thought he remembered how good this was, but he was so, so very wrong. Her kiss is so much more than he could have ever hoped to hold in memory alone. He's eager for it, hungry to lose himself in it, but practicality calls in the form of the child snug between them, and his lips tug into a smile.

He's smiled more in these past few minutes that he has for the past three years combined. ]

Mayhaps we should. [ Much as he hates the idea of moving even a fraction of an inch away from her, this really isn't the place they should be doing this, and so after another moment of just breathing her in, Prompto draws himself up onto his feet once more, arm snug around Louisoix still as he winds the other around Alisaie's shoulders. Abandoning contact entirely is asking far too much right now.

There's so much he wants to ask, but he holds off for now, until the door clicks shut behind them and they're all warm and safe together inside this place that suddenly feels far more like home than anything has for a very long time. ]

[ of course it comes as no surprise that prompto cannot help but keep his hands on her. this was premeditated on her part, but for him it must have been as shocking as a blow to the head, and she cannot blame him for worrying that it is all a dream, that it may evaporate at any time. his touch is ever and always welcome.

much as her legs and feet ache, it still feels good to close that door behind them, to have a space for themselves, private and quiet and alonem though worn as the fixtures are, it does not look lived in. it looks occupied, but it lacks the homey touch, it does not have his signature. she has no idea if this is where he lives, or where he's simply staying - she knows nothing about his existence here, but for now that does not matter. they're together, at long last. all three of them.

but first thing's first, alisaie shrugs off the heavy bag she's been carrying and sets it onto the nearest available surface with a soft sigh of relief, reaching to rub the back of her neck. tough as she is, she's not very large, and carrying a child and a bag packed with things to keep that child (and herself) alive for a long journey via chocobo is not terribly comfortable.

still, she can't keep the smile off of her face, discomfort or no. ]

I'm surprised he is not fussing, he's surely hungry.

[ unsurprisingly, this child is a bottomless pit of food consumption. ]

[ That earns another unlikely laugh from him, hand working for a moment along her shoulders as she sets her heavy load down. She's right in her assessment of this place - it's only a stop between journeys, not a residence, and he's stayed in dozens of different ones over the years. It didn't feel right to settle anywhere, to put down roots. It probably wouldn't have even if the world weren't in ruin. However, as he ushers her towards the small living room, he finds himself wishing he had a homier space to invite them into. To be together as a family.

But this place will have to do for now, and Prompto bounces Louisoix in his arms and lavishes eskimo kisses on him. Unsurprisingly, he's immediately taken to fatherhood, to doting upon this child he always dreamed of. The attention earns Prompto a tinkling laugh, and the sound alone is enough to renew the tears gathered at the corner of his eyes.

He loves this boy. He loves his wife. He loves this moment, the quiet reality of it, confirming to him that perhaps this really isn't a dream. ]

Attaboy, Louie... [ The child grabs for his nose, and Prompto kisses his tiny wrist, and then his small, pointed ears. ]

Can we feed him? Together?

[ He wants to do anything and everything together with her. ]

[ it's lovely to watch, to see him lavish the boy with kisses and praise, already loving him so completely, so fully, though it has yet been even a bell since they have met. but of course, it comes as no surprise. prompto is the warmest person she has ever known, with a heart so full of love it's a wonder he can still carry it - he was meant for this, for family, for loving others, a trait it seems he has passed on to his son, to her everlasting relief. the world needs more like them, sunny smiles and gentle hearts. ]

Of course you can.

[ u wanna breastfeed him prompto?? good luck..

but no, she's opening up her bag to pull out a few things - a small glass sippy cup, and several little jars of food. most are filled with half-smashed fruit and vegetables, some carrot sticks and diced rolanberries, but she lifts another that looks like smushed spaghetti. because it is. ]

This is his favorite.

[ His heart squeezes again as Alisaie starts to unpack her bag. Though he'd always known her capable of it, Prompto has never seen her in this role of a mother before. Yet she's so attuned to her child's needs and habits, prepared food for him for this journey that brought them to Prompto's door. How long had they been traveling? How had she found him, the nomad that he is these days? Had she looked long for him?

But he asks none of those questions. Not yet. Instead, he takes the jar of smushed spaghetti from Alisaie, Louisoix already clapping his hands together at the sight of it. Okay, apparently it really is his favorite. Prompto picks up a tiny spoon as well before taking one of Alisaie's hands and tugging her over towards the beat-up couch with him.

Then he sits, food in one hand as he balances the boy on his lap, patting the spot next to him as he does so. As he settles down, a sigh rolls out of him, deep and tremulous. ]

I don't even know where to start.

[ With feeding Louisoix, or catching up on everything he's missed out on. ]

[ she's quick to grab a little rag, and the sippy-cup half filled with watered down juice before prompto wrangles her right over to the sofa. and then they're sitting, and it's quiet save for louie's babbling, and it's as if all the weight of it is finally settling over them, pressing them down. ]

I know.

[ where even to begin? there's been so much time lost between them, so many poignant events that the prospect of unloading them all seems exhausting, impossible. three years she has spent away working and searching, raising a child. three years he has spent here, in this dying world, alone. there are a thousand conversations that must happen, things they must tell one another, things that warrant explaining.

but for right now.. for right now this is all that matters. being together, sharing the same space after so long, remembering what it is like to experience one another. it's all coming back so quickly, so easily, and while they feel.. out of rhythm, in a way, she is not uncomfortable, she could never be uncomfortable with him, no matter how many years may pass, no matter what might come between them. they will find their equilibrium again. but now, family.

sitting forward, she carefully unscrews the jar and dips in the spoon, leaving it for prompto to lift whenever he's ready, but louisoix is already reaching for it impatiently, babbling pasa, pasa! ]

Just start here. [ a beat, and a smile. ] It will be messy.

[ It will be messy.

A faint smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, his gaze flickering back down to the child on his lap as Prompto finally gives into his demands, lifting the spoon into Louisoix's open mouth. It's such a simple thing, but it's the first time he's done this, the first time he's fed his child that has been unknown to him for years. There's such a simple pleasure in providing this basic necessity, that Prompto works in silence for a few moments, trailing spoonfuls of mushed spaghetti into the toddler's mouth, wiping up the dribbles as they inevitably come.

It's a few moments before he realizes he's started to weep again. His life has been so bereft of good things for so long that now he can scarcely handle so many of them coming at once.

His watery gaze turns up to find Alisaie's eyes again. ]

I-I should have been there for you. I should have been there for him.

[ No matter how impossible that might have been, it doesn't make it any less true. He should have been there. ]

[ alisaie watches in silence as prompto works, and of course he takes to it easily, naturally. you might think feeding a toddler is simple, but it isn't always, especially if they're being fussy and stubborn, but louisoix is a good eater, will happily inhale almost anything in front of him. almost. his little hands are reaching out, grabbing for the spoon, and alisaie is about to tell him that prompto could hand the spoon over to him, but then he's talking.

her eyes flicker up toward his face, her heart breaking at the sight of them, and the words that follow. briefly, she closes her eyes, exhaling softly, before she's leaning into him, and lifting a hand to brush it gently to his face. ]

That's enough.

[ her voice is gentle, but there's a firmness in it as well, that will brook no argument. ]

It could not be helped, and that is no fault of yours. We are together now, and we will not leave you. I am.. sorry that I could not find you more quickly, that you could not be there when you wanted to be, but I will not allow you to carry that blame.

[ There's that touch of hers again, that touch that seems to drive all else away. He leans into it again, so wholly distracted by her that Louisoix is able to easily pull the spoon from his hand. As she always has, she makes it so easy for him to believe the best parts of himself, to believe that he was really doing the best he could.

But if he isn't at fault, she certain isn't, either. ]

Then you can't, either. [ He leans close, to nuzzle against her cheek, against those features which are mapped perfectly in his mind still. He longs to kiss her, to kiss her until they're both numb and breathless and can forget they were ever apart for so long, but he doesn't want to rush this. It's been so long since they've been close. He wants to savor every moment of it, every sensation, stretching out the affection between them like dormant limb. ]

You left home.

[ It's not a question, but it is. It could have been no simple feat to get here, to cross the barrier between worlds even if they were adjacent. What had she sacrificed to make this journey?

Was he really worth the price? ]

Yes, I did.

[ he leans into her touch, and warmth rushes to her chest again, a smile tugging the corners of her mouth, while her free hand moves to louisoix's back to keep him from tumbling away with that spoon. a shame for prompto's lap, though, it's surely going to be spattered with lots of spaghetti now that the boy is digging into it for himself, clumsily. ]

It was a difficult choice, but Hydaelyn is.. in good hands. I am not needed there.

[ though it still aches. the wound is fresh, the memory of her loved ones still clear, but she smiles nonetheless, dropping her hand to cover one of his own. ]

But we are family. You deserved to know your son, and he you. I have no regrets.

[ She says she has no regrets, and he believes her. But still...on Nysa, they'd fought so hard to get their worlds back, to have their homes restored. Prompto had known intimately how much Alisaie missed her world, her brother, the Scions, and as much as it had torn him apart to let her go there without him, he'd at least taken solace in the fact that she would be home once more.

That she would give all of that up for him, for him to meet Louisoix, for them to be together again...is a sacrifice he could never be worthy of. But she had made her choice, and even if he wanted to plead with her to go back, to take their son to a world that had to be better than this one, it would make no difference.

Besides, now that he has her at his side once more, the last thing he wants to do is let her go again. ]

So...you're going to stay?

[ It's not safe here. It absolutely isn't. They shouldn't stay. But gods, he so desperately wants them do. ]

[ the look on his face breaks her heart all over again. ]

Yes, I am going to stay.

[ of course she doesn't mention that she may very well not have a way back, that this is the end of the line, that she is not sure eos would have the magic or technology available for her to ever return home. she had said her goodbyes.

but gods, the last thing she wants right now is to mourn the loss of her home; after working so hard to arrive here she wants only to celebrate instead what she has regained. she wants to look into his face again, to watch him smile and hear his laugh, to feel his arms around her, to wake up beside him. ]

It seems you may need all the help you can get, anyroad.

[ eos is.. an absolute mess. ]

[ She's going to stay.

A fresh, shuddering breath slips out of him as he closes his eyes, letting those words occupy every space in his mind until they are all he can think about. She's going to stay with him. Both of them are. Every lonely night, every time he'd reached out in bed for someone who wasn't there, every tear he'd shed as he clung to memories he feared would fade - they all pale in the light of this revelation, of this new future that has completely changed his life in a instant.

A breathless laugh escapes him then, a smile on his lips once more, even with the tears that still fall. They're tears of unbridled joy, of a hope he hasn't felt in years, of love, true, real, love, that bound them together across universes. ]

You can say that again.

[ One arm still around Louisoix (who is going to town on that spaghetti and making a grand mess), Prompto lifts his free hand to her face, to glide his thumb over her cheek, to press his brow to hers. ]

It...won't be easy. Living here.

[ Though he's sure that won't deter her. ]

Edited 2017-12-03 06:27 (UTC)

Of course it won't, but it was not easy living there, either.

[ in true mmo fashion there was, of course, always a threat to be dealt with. primals and factions, the garlean empire's constant hovering promise of conquest, and of course the ascians above all, and their dark god zodiark, orchestrating it all.

it gives her.. something of an idea of what might be going on here, to be perfectly honest, but that is a conversation for another time. for now, the three of them occupying this space, the the promise of its continued occupation, is all that matters. nuzzling her nose to his own, she smiles. ]

I am a survivor, you know that, you cannot deter me with danger.

[ and then - splat - a spoonful of mushed spaghetti flung toward them and a peal of laughter just after. what a little jerk.. ]

I had a feelin' you might say something like that.

[ And it's so good to know that no matter how much time has passed, she is still the woman he fell in love with, the woman he married. He's about to kiss her again, then, the brief warmth they'd shared earlier sweet upon his memory, but SOMEONE apparently doesn't appreciate mom and dad getting too schmoopy in front of him.

The spaghetti hits Prompto squarely in the jaw, and he draws back with a laugh of his own to turn his attention back to Lousioix. ]

Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, huh? Huh? [ BRING IT, SON. Prompto delicately sets the jar of spaghetti aside...before launching into a full-on tickle-attack. Having a kid apparently will spare Alisaie from them. ]

You will learn soon enough that you two have quite a bit in common.

[ namely, getting whiny and jealous when mama gives other people or things too much attention. remember that time you were jealous of peo?? ah, memories. but little louisoix, in classic toddler fashion, will only tolerate not being showered with attention for so long.

while prompto is busy tickle-attacking the squealing boy, alisaie wipes off her face with the handy rag she had had picked up, then sits back a little on the sofa. the boy, it seems, has inherited her vulnerability to tickles, and he's screeching noisily, flailing his chubby little limbs, while alisaie reclines and allows him to suffer. at least it's not her.

and it's.. nice, to watch, to hear them both laugh, to see them both smile. her boys. ]

[ That's fair enough, and given all the time they have to catch up on, Prompto is happy to lavish attention on his son. His laughter is like music to his ears, perfect, filling his heart until it is fit to burst.

But he dare not betray his child so soon after their meeting and be forever known as the parent who tickles too much, so a few moments later, Prompto relents, instead lifting Louisoix into his arms again and gazing fondly into the boy's dark eyes. Everything about him is perfect, impossibly sweet, a beacon of hope and light in this otherwise dark and dreary world. He can't wait to introduce him - both of them - to Ignis, to Gladio, and someday...to Noct.

Leaning back onto the couch, he kisses Louisoix on his soft hair, tapping the tip of his pointed ears. ]

I want to know everything...when you're ready.

[ Gods know she must be exhausted after her journey. She doesn't even need to tell him anything tonight - just having her with him is more, so much more than enough.

Of course.

[ and there is so very much to tell that she cannot wait for him to hear, to see his face light up with every silly story. but he's right, she is weary right down to her bones in a way she hasn't been in a very long time. tomorrow. tomorrow there will be time to tell him so much.

for the moment she's simply enjoying prompto enjoying their son like it's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen, because it is. ]

Would it be all right if we used your washroom?

[ she and louie both are.. definitely ripe from the road. ]

[ He holds Louisoix close a moment longer, peering into his face and memorizing every detail of it, every freckle and eyelash. Would his camera still work, he wonders? It's been so long since he last tried to use it. But if there were any reason for him to pull it back out again...it would be for this. Gods, it's like he has his heart back, his life back at last, no longer driven by will alone.

At last, he stands, still carrying the boy and extending his free hand to Alisaie. ]

You bet. It's not really mine, anyway. Just...borrowin' this place for a spell.

[ There's a lot he needs to tell her, too. But for now, he'll lead her towards the washroom, right at the top of the stairs. ]

[ getting back onto her feet seems a monumental effort, but she slips her hand into his nonetheless, still reveling in the familiar warmth of his touch, and stands again, more than happy to allow him to lead her where he needs to.

it all still feels like a memory. how many times have they held hands? showered together? the easy domesticity comes back so quickly that it's as if no time has passed at all, only now they have another, a third, the beginnings of the family they had always wanted but never been permitted to build. but now here they are, through strength of will alone, united, like two broken halves or something whole coming together again.

the first thing she does is start running the bath, allowing it to fill while she works on everything else. it's muscle memory. prompto is still holding the boy, and far be it for her to pry him from his arms, so instead she stands before him and plucks off both of louisoix's tiny shoes, followed by his tiny socks. ]

Is this not where you live?

[ This is another arena in which he knows nothing, but he follows her when where he can. Bathing a kid can't be that hard, right?? Not any harder than feeding him had been, and that had gone well enough, aside from the flung spaghetti, some of which is still crusted on to Prompto's jaw.

So for now he holds Louisoix to best facilitate undressing him for the bath, trying not to cry at the sight of those tiny socks... ]

Nah. I don't...really live anywhere.

[ Which bears a little clarification, and his grin turns a bit more sheepish. ]

Not that I'm, like, homeless...except I sort of am, I guess? I...travel around a lot.

[ Lots to do in a world that's already ended, it turns out. ]

[ yes look at how tiny these little socks are.. they even have little baby chocobos on them..

alisaie's expression falls a little at his explanation, and of course it.. makes sense. when things were bad on hydaelyn and there was work to do, she would travel constantly, hardly in any one place for more than a handful of days, most times. still, that prompto is so alone is enough to make her heart ache. he is not built for the solitary life, he requires companionship and love, friends and acquaintances, people with whom to share all of that laughter in his heart. has it been this way the entire time? all these years? has he been alone?

well, he isn't alone anymore, she can console herself with that much, at least. still, it's enough to have her pausing from her work to reach and touch his face, gentle and soft. ]

I see. Well, I hope you will not mind having a couple of tagalongs.

[ alisaie smiles, working off the last piece of tiny clothing before she's turning to check the temperature of the water, and shutting it off. ]

In he goes.

[ There's some saying about throwing the baby into the bathwater, right? Oh, well. He won't take it quite so literally, instead stepping over to the tub and carefully lowering Loiusoix into the water. ]

Are you kiddin'? You guys'll probably be better at fighting daemons than I am.

[ They family that fights together...

It'll take some planning - they maybe shouldn't rush into into a den of monsters with a toddler, but the prospect of moving ahead with her at his side makes everything all the brighter. ]

[ that's.. not how that saying goes?? please don't throw the baby anywhere, prompto.

he squeaks a little when he touches the water, but otherwise settles, a shame his favorite bath duckie is still downstairs in her bag, all alone. alisaie snags a washcloth and kneels beside the tub, dipping it into the warm water and wringing it out. ]

Well, we shall see about that. They looked.. quite fearsome.

[ not your every day run of the mill forest monster. certainly she's fought fiercer foes than ochus and coerls before, but the sight of some of those daemons on the road had been enough to send a chill of fear down her spine. for now, though, they are safely indoors, and she is gently wiping the dust and pasta sauce from louisoix's little face. ]

[ Prompto hangs over the edge of the tub, watching her work with a fond smile, one hand still at Louisoix's back. He's old enough he doesn't need the support, but Prompto wants him to know that he's there, all the same, and that he isn't going anywhere now. A son...it still feels surreal, dreamlike, that he could have had any part in creating a life, even if it was wholly unintentional. It can't have been the most convenient thing to find herself pregnant after returning home, but at least she had Louisoix to keep her company. His boy has already done so much for him, before he'd even known how to walk. ]

...Some of 'em are pretty nasty. [ His tone is gentle, but not soft. ] They get more and more aggressive all the time, but...we just have to keep fighting.

[ Until the king returns. ]