[ it's clear that whatever he has to say is not easy to speak of, but she waits patiently for him to sort it it - though she might have felt sorry asking so much of him, it also seems as if he's willing and ready to talk about it, and if he's never spoken of it before.. well, maybe it is time that he should.
alisaie's brow knits, and she gently works her fingers through his own to anchor him, to remind him that she is here, that everything is all right. ]
Did you.. find out, then, about who you are? Or had you already known?
[ Her grasp on his hand roots him to this spot, this time and place, and it's a good thing, as mired in memories as he is right now. It's almost as if he can feel the cold sting of the Niflheim winds on his skin, hear Ardyn's laugh echoing in his head. To you, this place should have some sentimental value. He can see Noct running towards him, chasing him down, sword in hand — memories he has kept at the cusp because he didn't see a reason to dredge them up here. He had made peace with it, hadn't he? He and Noct had talked about it. About how when all was said and done and Noctis took his place as king, he would knock down the walls between Lucis and the Empire and bring everyone together as one. And for Prompto, an Imperial by creation, continually afraid of being different, hated because of where he was from, that was all he needed to hear.
And in his heart, he knows that still counts. That even if Noct doesn't remember here, it doesn't undo everything that happened. It doesn't negate what Prompto had to fight for, or what decisions he'd made when he was on his own. It isn't...disingenuous for him to keep on that path, to continue to grow and make himself better, to talk about these things because they're important to talk about. Maybe talking about this with Alisaie will finally give him the courage to bring it up with Noct.
So he squeezes her hand tightly, stroking his thumb across her palm, steeling himself with these sweet, tender things. ]
...No. Well...kinda. I always...I always had my code print, and I knew I wasn't...normal. That I was different from everyone else because of it. But I didn't know until I was actually there that I was...created to become an MT. M-magitek trooper. I-I found out about all that, and I thought my best friend hated me...not my best week.
[ He smiles weakly, though it doesn't reach his eyes. ]
[ there is not much to be done but to wait, to allow him to work out how he will tell his story, but with hope he will find the strength that she knows he possesses in order to master his fear and memories - which are just that, and only that. memories.
but just as she had hoped, he works his way through it. alisaie offers a lopsided smile, and her hand slips away from his own, but only so that she can lift it to touch his face, cupping his cheek against her palm, her thumb coasting over his freckled cheekbone. ]
You do know that none of it matters, don't you?
[ she asks, her smile curling at the edges. that his memory can affect him so strongly is testament to his great, tender heart, but he may also need reminding that it is in the past, and in no way affects the person he is today. ]
Learning those things has only made you stronger. You know full well that how you came to be does not matter, all that matters is what you choose to do with the life given to you. No matter how terrible the circumstances of your birth may have been, I am grateful for them, for otherwise you would not be here.
[ When she lifts her hand to his cheek, his eyes lid heavily, a smile blossoming in spite of himself as he leans into her touch, her warmth. That would have been enough, the simple, tangible reassurance that she is at his side, that even knowing all this she would choose to remain here. But then she goes on, speaking such wonderful, sweet words to him, and it takes all his strength of will to keep the tears that gather on his eyelashes from spilling down his cheeks. His smile only widens beneath her hand, and a breath trembles out of him, somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
That someone could say such wonderful things to him...it is no small thing. His heart swells with warmth and affection both, spilling into his blood and bones, and he lifts his hand to cover her own on his cheek, to hold it in place before he nuzzles against her palm. ]
You...really mean that?
[ She does. He knows she does. But that isn't why he asks. ]
[ she doesn't expect him to go nuzzling into her hand, and it makes her face flush a warm pink, but she does not pull away, even if she.. can't, once his hand is over hers, anyway. a pleasant heat envelops and squeezes her heart, strengthening her smile. ]
Of course I do.
[ she says, with a quiet firmness. ]
Imagine out places reversed. Imagine it were I, telling you this story. Would you think lesser of me, for where I came from? For a circumstance over which I had no control?
[ He seems to remember himself once her face flushes, but he doesn't pull away from the warmth of her hand. He needs it too much right now, while his heart is racing and his thoughts swimming, to keep him in this moment. It's so warm, it's so real. There's nowhere else he wants to be, no one he would rather be talking to about this right now than her.
His lips broaden into a smile against her palm, though one tear slips loose, falling over their tangled fingers. ]
Nah, of course not. [ She'd used this kind of reasoning on him before, and as difficult as it had been for him to accept, he's beginning to come to terms with it. ] I guess I just...still have a hard time seeing...
[ He lets out a thinly held breath. ]
...Seeing my own value sometimes still. Really believing that I'm not just some loser. But I...I'm trying to.
[ He's really trying. For her, for his brothers, for all his friends who believe in him. ]
[ not trying hard enough for her liking, but still. that he is trying at all is still plenty, and this is not something that can be forced. he must work through it on his own time, in his own way. but she has every confidence that he will, that he has the strength to see it through. ]
Just remember that every time you think that, you are insulting a dear friend of mine, and that is not something that I will abide.
[ A small chuckle escapes him, though he knows she means that earnestly, too. He draws back from her hand, taking hers between both of his, though his fingers tremble, his palms cold and clammy. Hopefully she doesn't mind the sweaty awkward boy hands for now...one day, maybe he'll get let jittery about this kind of stuff. ]
You gonna kick my ass if I give myself a hard time?
[ He's joking, but also kind of serious. HE WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HER. Next time he calls himself a loser, she's going to sock him in the gut, probably. ]
[ and he has fair warning, now, for the future.. ]
I certainly would, if a stranger said those things about you, so why should I allow you to get away with it as well?
[ were anyone at all to say such terrible things about him she would jump on them immediately, and tear them a new one, for sure. he is no exception to this rule. prompto is her close friend. she cares for him a great deal, and would never abide anyone speaking ill of him, that he could think these things about himself at all is a blow to her heart. if helping him to push past it means she has to kick his ass a couple times.. well. so be it. ]
[ Man, where was she when he was in grade school? If only he had someone like Alisaie to defend him from bullies when he had been younger...and to defend him from himself. But she's here now, insisting that he treat himself better, and it is something he is consciously working on. He spends less time worrying about his own inadequacy and giving things his all, fears less about where he came from because it isn't who he is now.
I can't choose where I came from, but I can choose where I'm going. ]
I'll do my best, then. For you, and for everyone else, too.
[ He's finally beginning to understand, to believe that it's really what they want and hope for him.
He exhales deep and long, letting go of her hand at last. ]
...Think I promised you a happy memory after that lil' doozy.
[ that is a more than sufficient answer for her, it would seem. alisaie is an impatient girl, nothing would please her more than to just punch the low self-esteem right out of him, but that is not a viable method. he needs time, and she will allow him that, especially if he continues to make strides.
so she nods, a bright smile unfurling over her face, her freed hands going right back to the food now. ]
[ (I mean, she could try punching it out of him. It might prove rather effective, if not memorable.)
Happier memories are, of course, much easier for him to talk at length about, even if they are no more important than the painful ones, too. The nerves in his stomach quiet, though his fingers still tremble as he reaches for a bunch of grapes. It'll be a few minutes before the adrenaline burns off entirely. ]
Heh...happiest memory, huh? I can't believe you're makin' me pick just one! Can't I cheat a little? At least two?
[ He asks now, after he blatantly cheated on the "most painful memory" question. But those were all kind of one, long strung-together memory. The ones he's considering now are more disjointed, but are still all somehow related. Given what his most painful memories were about, she could probably make an educated guess about what his happiest memories look like, too.
(Spoilers: most of them involve Noctis Lucis Caelum.) ]
[ gross.. but for the love of prompto i will endure this. ]
You can tell me as many as you like.
[ she says, through a sunny laugh and a mouthful of cookies. ]
You can tell me whatever you want.
[ she had just been going for a rapid fire ask and tell sort of thing so they could learn a lot about each other in a short time, but i mean, this works too. she never tires of listening to him talk (she will come to regret this thought someday), and she is more than happy to listen to any story he has to tell her. ]
[ She sure will come to regret that someday, when he won't shut up in the middle of the night and she has to smother him with a pillow.
But for now, she is happy to listen and he is happy to talk, so he pops a grape into his mouth as a fondly nostalgic look settles in his features, his eyes soft and crinkled with the warmth of his smile. ]
You got it, Ali. Fair warning, though — we miiiiight be here for awhile.
[ For all his life has been shaped by darkness and circumstances beyond his control, he has so very many good memories, too. Ones he cherishes deeply, ones that give him light when darkness surrounds him, ones that kindle the flame in his heart. He is only too eager to share them with her, to invite her into such special and precious moments of his life. It's...exhilarating, so share all this with another person, to actually want to bear so much of himself to her. ]
Well, there was the time I rescued the Oracle's dog, and she sent me a letter thanking me. She's like, a big deal. A super big deal. The only person in our world who can act as a bridge between us and the gods. And she took the time to write to someone like me.
[ That letter had such a profound and sweeping impact on his life. He can't overstate how very much it meant to him. ]
[ now, this is the prompto that she likes to see - bright as the sun and full of life, smiling until the warmth reaches his eyes. that is not to say that his darker memories are not valid, of course they are, which is exactly why she does what she can to drag them out of him, but he really is something else when he is happy. this is his natural energy, his smile positively shines.
it shines so brightly that his light warms her, too, and burgeons her own smile, a task that is none too easy for anyone to achieve. she has come a long way when it comes to forging friendships and allowing herself to be simply happy, but no one, save her grandfather, has even been able to wrest a natural smile from her so easily as prompto does.
it is no wonder that her feelings for him were so easily cultivated. ]
[ It's funny. Prompto never had the chance to meet Lunafreya, and yet, he knows so much about her, just from his friendship with Noctis. And based off what he knows, he can't help but think that she would say something just like this, too. Lady Lunafreya would make anyone worth her time. That's why she was the Oracle, a pillar to the people. ]
...She was somethin' else. Noct was supposed to marry her, y'know? That's why we left Insomnia in the first place.
[ And their journey had taken such a different turn from where it originally started, but the fact still proves true: once again, Lunafreya was involved in a pivotal moment that shaped his life, that still shapes it. ]
Before she sent me that letter, I was...I dunno. [ Quieter: ] Not the happiest flower in the patch. But she sent me that and told me to watch out for Noct and finally, finally, I had a purpose.
[ He would have liked to have thanked her for it, someday. ]
[ alisaie, of course, has never met lunafreya either - for all that she has passed by many of prompto's friends from home, she had never been among them. but the way prompto speaks of her is inspirational nonetheless.
granted, prompto tends to talk about most everyone as if they are on a pedestal, but still, there is a light in her name when he speaks it. ]
Is that how you came to know him, then? The prince?
[ she'd always assumed that prompto was.. well, some young noble or something. he certainly doesn't act the part, but then, neither does alisaie; one would never think her the only daughter or the most powerful man in sharlayan, given how she mudwrestles and eats ten cookies at a time. eos hardly seems familiar to her anyway, in terms of royalty and nobility - she would never have known that noctis was a prince, had prompto not told her so, after all. so assuming prompto was some random duke's whelp was an easy enough thing. ]
Yeah. We were in the same school — can you believe that? The crown prince went to my school! Kinda sounds like one of those things you make up as kids to impress people. [ You know, like how my uncle works at Nintendo. ] But I guess Luna figured it out somehow, and so she...wanted me to go be his buddy. Heh, guess she knew he needed someone to look out for him. Keep him outta trouble. That sorta thing.
[ You'd think the prince would be the most popular guy at school, and respected though he was, Noctis was often alone. At least, before Prompto had come careening into his life. ]
It, uh, still took me a while to really work up the courage to talk to him, though.
[ alisaie's situation was not quite the same, in sharlayan - if anything, she was the royal analogue in her situation, but uh, nobody really wanted to be friends with her. she didn't have a plucky little prompto to keep her company.
nevertheless, she smiles in a curling, coy sort of way. ]
[ He goes a little pink in the ears at her comment, though she is unequivocally right. For all he can be effusive and loud, Prompto has always felt a bit uneasy in social settings, and school was no different. He hadn't been bullied much, but neither did he have any friends, and he hardly talked to his peers. Only his camera kept him company, most of the time. ]
Y-yeah, sure was. You'd totally laugh, if you saw me from way back when.
[ If she even recognized him. He has gone to lengths to alter his appearance, anyway, to look his best. ]
[ she insists, vehemently, her mouth turning down into a small frown, though soon enough her brows are lifting, her shoulders rolling in a shrug, her grin flickering back as quickly as it had gone. ]
.. well, no more than I laugh at you now, at least.
[ That's fair enough, and he chuckles lightly in return. It's not as though he dislikes being laughed at — when he means to be laughed at, anyway. ]
I dunno, you might be surprised! Bet you wouldn't even believe it was me, as handsome and stylish as I am now!
[ He boasts, but there's an undercurrent of worry in his words. She says that, but would she have laughed at him? Back then? Would she tease him because of how he looked?
...He knows, of course, that she wouldn't — but it's still hard to let go of the shame. ]
[ Of course, she's not backing down — and he's not surprised, either. His expression softens, a little bashful as his gaze drops away. ]
Nah, 'course I don't. All I mean is...I was pretty different back then. In a lot of ways.
[ He felt the changes he made were necessary. It's only recently that he's begun to experiment with being proud of what he managed to accomplish for himself. ]
.. well. Maybe not so different as you might think.
[ she says, gently but playfully, lifting a hand to flick at his ostentatious hair. no, she did not know prompto then, but she knows him now, more than well enough to know what is genuine, and what is a show. all of this.. style, the hair, the clothes, even the affectations he puts on - they're him, but they're not him. he's noisy and talkative and boisterous, yes, but she knows that in many ways it is a cover. beneath it all he is a shy, sweet, nervous boy.
something she can't help but think carries over from his youth. the way he talks about his past, she's sure he must've been nervous and uncertain, in all the ways she has glimpsed when his overly sunny front has cracked. ]
But I have no doubt that you have grown for the better.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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alisaie's brow knits, and she gently works her fingers through his own to anchor him, to remind him that she is here, that everything is all right. ]
Did you.. find out, then, about who you are? Or had you already known?
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And in his heart, he knows that still counts. That even if Noct doesn't remember here, it doesn't undo everything that happened. It doesn't negate what Prompto had to fight for, or what decisions he'd made when he was on his own. It isn't...disingenuous for him to keep on that path, to continue to grow and make himself better, to talk about these things because they're important to talk about. Maybe talking about this with Alisaie will finally give him the courage to bring it up with Noct.
So he squeezes her hand tightly, stroking his thumb across her palm, steeling himself with these sweet, tender things. ]
...No. Well...kinda. I always...I always had my code print, and I knew I wasn't...normal. That I was different from everyone else because of it. But I didn't know until I was actually there that I was...created to become an MT. M-magitek trooper. I-I found out about all that, and I thought my best friend hated me...not my best week.
[ He smiles weakly, though it doesn't reach his eyes. ]
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but just as she had hoped, he works his way through it. alisaie offers a lopsided smile, and her hand slips away from his own, but only so that she can lift it to touch his face, cupping his cheek against her palm, her thumb coasting over his freckled cheekbone. ]
You do know that none of it matters, don't you?
[ she asks, her smile curling at the edges. that his memory can affect him so strongly is testament to his great, tender heart, but he may also need reminding that it is in the past, and in no way affects the person he is today. ]
Learning those things has only made you stronger. You know full well that how you came to be does not matter, all that matters is what you choose to do with the life given to you. No matter how terrible the circumstances of your birth may have been, I am grateful for them, for otherwise you would not be here.
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That someone could say such wonderful things to him...it is no small thing. His heart swells with warmth and affection both, spilling into his blood and bones, and he lifts his hand to cover her own on his cheek, to hold it in place before he nuzzles against her palm. ]
You...really mean that?
[ She does. He knows she does. But that isn't why he asks. ]
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Of course I do.
[ she says, with a quiet firmness. ]
Imagine out places reversed. Imagine it were I, telling you this story. Would you think lesser of me, for where I came from? For a circumstance over which I had no control?
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His lips broaden into a smile against her palm, though one tear slips loose, falling over their tangled fingers. ]
Nah, of course not. [ She'd used this kind of reasoning on him before, and as difficult as it had been for him to accept, he's beginning to come to terms with it. ] I guess I just...still have a hard time seeing...
[ He lets out a thinly held breath. ]
...Seeing my own value sometimes still. Really believing that I'm not just some loser. But I...I'm trying to.
[ He's really trying. For her, for his brothers, for all his friends who believe in him. ]
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[ not trying hard enough for her liking, but still. that he is trying at all is still plenty, and this is not something that can be forced. he must work through it on his own time, in his own way. but she has every confidence that he will, that he has the strength to see it through. ]
Just remember that every time you think that, you are insulting a dear friend of mine, and that is not something that I will abide.
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You gonna kick my ass if I give myself a hard time?
[ He's joking, but also kind of serious. HE WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HER. Next time he calls himself a loser, she's going to sock him in the gut, probably. ]
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[ and he has fair warning, now, for the future.. ]
I certainly would, if a stranger said those things about you, so why should I allow you to get away with it as well?
[ were anyone at all to say such terrible things about him she would jump on them immediately, and tear them a new one, for sure. he is no exception to this rule. prompto is her close friend. she cares for him a great deal, and would never abide anyone speaking ill of him, that he could think these things about himself at all is a blow to her heart. if helping him to push past it means she has to kick his ass a couple times.. well. so be it. ]
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I can't choose where I came from, but I can choose where I'm going. ]
I'll do my best, then. For you, and for everyone else, too.
[ He's finally beginning to understand, to believe that it's really what they want and hope for him.
He exhales deep and long, letting go of her hand at last. ]
...Think I promised you a happy memory after that lil' doozy.
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so she nods, a bright smile unfurling over her face, her freed hands going right back to the food now. ]
Yes, you did.
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Happier memories are, of course, much easier for him to talk at length about, even if they are no more important than the painful ones, too. The nerves in his stomach quiet, though his fingers still tremble as he reaches for a bunch of grapes. It'll be a few minutes before the adrenaline burns off entirely. ]
Heh...happiest memory, huh? I can't believe you're makin' me pick just one! Can't I cheat a little? At least two?
[ He asks now, after he blatantly cheated on the "most painful memory" question. But those were all kind of one, long strung-together memory. The ones he's considering now are more disjointed, but are still all somehow related. Given what his most painful memories were about, she could probably make an educated guess about what his happiest memories look like, too.
(Spoilers: most of them involve Noctis Lucis Caelum.) ]
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You can tell me as many as you like.
[ she says, through a sunny laugh and a mouthful of cookies. ]
You can tell me whatever you want.
[ she had just been going for a rapid fire ask and tell sort of thing so they could learn a lot about each other in a short time, but i mean, this works too. she never tires of listening to him talk (she will come to regret this thought someday), and she is more than happy to listen to any story he has to tell her. ]
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But for now, she is happy to listen and he is happy to talk, so he pops a grape into his mouth as a fondly nostalgic look settles in his features, his eyes soft and crinkled with the warmth of his smile. ]
You got it, Ali. Fair warning, though — we miiiiight be here for awhile.
[ For all his life has been shaped by darkness and circumstances beyond his control, he has so very many good memories, too. Ones he cherishes deeply, ones that give him light when darkness surrounds him, ones that kindle the flame in his heart. He is only too eager to share them with her, to invite her into such special and precious moments of his life. It's...exhilarating, so share all this with another person, to actually want to bear so much of himself to her. ]
Well, there was the time I rescued the Oracle's dog, and she sent me a letter thanking me. She's like, a big deal. A super big deal. The only person in our world who can act as a bridge between us and the gods. And she took the time to write to someone like me.
[ That letter had such a profound and sweeping impact on his life. He can't overstate how very much it meant to him. ]
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it shines so brightly that his light warms her, too, and burgeons her own smile, a task that is none too easy for anyone to achieve. she has come a long way when it comes to forging friendships and allowing herself to be simply happy, but no one, save her grandfather, has even been able to wrest a natural smile from her so easily as prompto does.
it is no wonder that her feelings for him were so easily cultivated. ]
Well, clearly you were worth her time.
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...She was somethin' else. Noct was supposed to marry her, y'know? That's why we left Insomnia in the first place.
[ And their journey had taken such a different turn from where it originally started, but the fact still proves true: once again, Lunafreya was involved in a pivotal moment that shaped his life, that still shapes it. ]
Before she sent me that letter, I was...I dunno. [ Quieter: ] Not the happiest flower in the patch. But she sent me that and told me to watch out for Noct and finally, finally, I had a purpose.
[ He would have liked to have thanked her for it, someday. ]
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granted, prompto tends to talk about most everyone as if they are on a pedestal, but still, there is a light in her name when he speaks it. ]
Is that how you came to know him, then? The prince?
[ she'd always assumed that prompto was.. well, some young noble or something. he certainly doesn't act the part, but then, neither does alisaie; one would never think her the only daughter or the most powerful man in sharlayan, given how she mudwrestles and eats ten cookies at a time. eos hardly seems familiar to her anyway, in terms of royalty and nobility - she would never have known that noctis was a prince, had prompto not told her so, after all. so assuming prompto was some random duke's whelp was an easy enough thing. ]
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Yeah. We were in the same school — can you believe that? The crown prince went to my school! Kinda sounds like one of those things you make up as kids to impress people. [ You know, like how my uncle works at Nintendo. ] But I guess Luna figured it out somehow, and so she...wanted me to go be his buddy. Heh, guess she knew he needed someone to look out for him. Keep him outta trouble. That sorta thing.
[ You'd think the prince would be the most popular guy at school, and respected though he was, Noctis was often alone. At least, before Prompto had come careening into his life. ]
It, uh, still took me a while to really work up the courage to talk to him, though.
[ He had to de-chubs first. ]
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nevertheless, she smiles in a curling, coy sort of way. ]
Ah, I imagine you were very shy..
[ he was probably so cute.. ]
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Y-yeah, sure was. You'd totally laugh, if you saw me from way back when.
[ If she even recognized him. He has gone to lengths to alter his appearance, anyway, to look his best. ]
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[ she insists, vehemently, her mouth turning down into a small frown, though soon enough her brows are lifting, her shoulders rolling in a shrug, her grin flickering back as quickly as it had gone. ]
.. well, no more than I laugh at you now, at least.
[ it's totally out of love. ]
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I dunno, you might be surprised! Bet you wouldn't even believe it was me, as handsome and stylish as I am now!
[ He boasts, but there's an undercurrent of worry in his words. She says that, but would she have laughed at him? Back then? Would she tease him because of how he looked?
...He knows, of course, that she wouldn't — but it's still hard to let go of the shame. ]
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Now, do you really think I am the sort to do such a thing?
[ she knows he doesn't, he would never think poorly of her, but she'll take every chance she can get to help turn his patterns of thinking around. ]
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Nah, 'course I don't. All I mean is...I was pretty different back then. In a lot of ways.
[ He felt the changes he made were necessary. It's only recently that he's begun to experiment with being proud of what he managed to accomplish for himself. ]
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[ she says, gently but playfully, lifting a hand to flick at his ostentatious hair. no, she did not know prompto then, but she knows him now, more than well enough to know what is genuine, and what is a show. all of this.. style, the hair, the clothes, even the affectations he puts on - they're him, but they're not him. he's noisy and talkative and boisterous, yes, but she knows that in many ways it is a cover. beneath it all he is a shy, sweet, nervous boy.
something she can't help but think carries over from his youth. the way he talks about his past, she's sure he must've been nervous and uncertain, in all the ways she has glimpsed when his overly sunny front has cracked. ]
But I have no doubt that you have grown for the better.
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