...But those tears turn out not to be due to anything negative, or because she doesn't agree with his sentiment. Still, that makes it no easier to witness them gathering on her eyelashes, and thoughtlessly, his hand moves over hers, squeezing gently.
No, he hadn't meant those words to affect her quite so deeply, but seeing that slight smile upon her lips, he's glad that it has. That he was right in perceiving just how much her grandfather meant to her — still means to her. ]
I mean, how couldn't he be? You're so...amazing, Ali. Anyone could see that.
[ his hand over hers is not only a comfort, but it grounds her as well, grounds her in the moment, in reality, keeps her from flying off too far into the past, into things she cannot control. alisaie inhales deeply, then exhales slow, trembling. she thinks about her grandfather all the time, nearly every day, but to have someone think that he would be proud of her..
she knows he is right. she remembers her grandfather's smile as he faded from the world for good, she remembers his words, but it is nevertheless very powerful to hear them affirmed by someone else, all these years later. ]
Now you're just laying it on thick.
[ she says through a thin but genuine laugh, her free hand lifting to quickly swipe the wetness from her eyes before it can spread. ]
[ A breathless laugh escapes him, a testament to how nervous he still is, thanks to both her hand beneath his, and this topic they have broached. But it's good, so good, to hear of something so tremendously important to her, and to know this bit of her personal history. That, and...he doesn't seem to have messed it up too badly. Even if he did make her cry.
Maybe he's getting a bit better at this whole...people-ing thing. ]
H-hey! Cut me some slack, will ya? I'm just callin' it like it is. Don't shoot the messenger!
[ He lifts his free hand up defensively, shielding his heart. ]
A-anyway, y-you better just get used to me bein'... [ His blush renews, cheeks flushing scarlet. ] S-sweet on you.
[ When her fist connects with his arm, he reacts overdramatically, reeling backwards with an oof! before he rebounds, knocking his shoulder against her own. It's pretty cute, how flustered she gets when he says things like that...it's totally worth it to fluster himself.
So, noted. ]
What, you wanna hear about the time I got the high score at Kick Puncher at the arcade? [ Okay, he's joking this time, honest. ] Well...what do you wanna hear about?
[ He'll tell her anything she wants to know. She has more than earned that of him, having so diligently handled his heart with such care.
His life is hers to know, every page of it, every moment. ]
[ kick puncher... that is the stupidest name. a stupid game for a stupid boy. ]
Mmm..
[ she hums, rolling her eyes thoughtfully skyward. had she known this would happen, she would've come prepared with a list of questions!! she almost has option paralysis - would it be too much to ask him to recount the entirety of his life from start to finish? ]
Tell me your happiest memory, and also your most painful.
[ Wow, she really knows how to bring out the heavy hitters, doesn't she? Not that it's an unfair question, after what she'd just told him about her grandfather. It just...takes a bit more self-reflection, something that Prompto is not tremendously good at, but looking back at his memories for the sweetest and the bitterest, there are certainly a few that stand out.
Quietly thoughtful for a moment, he leans back on his hands, blinking against the sun-dappled water. ]
...Okay. You want the happiest one first, or...or the most painful one?
[ His heart rate is picking up again already. She already knows his darkest secret, there's nothing he can tell her that's worse than what she already knows. But still, he's not...used to talking about this stuff. On focusing on his negative memories, as well as his positive ones, though at least by now he can acknowledge that they have strengthened him, too.
[ she thinks mayhaps it was an inappropriate thing to ask, that she might have gone too far, but.. she trusts him to tell her if she crosses a line, if he is uncomfortable answering her questions, and they have made this promise to get to know one another. to reveal all the things that are difficult or ugly, to be able to talk without fear that they will be judged, or hurt, or laughed at. ]
The painful one, first.
[ she answers, after a thoughtful pause. better to allow himself to be exposed, to churn up what might be painful, then heal it with a smile, a happier memory. getting to know one another is not easy, but.. this is what she wants, and she is sure it must be what he wants as well. ]
[ He had a feeling she might say that, and really, he prefers it, too. Better to start with something hard and end with something better, to leave his turn on a positive note. But that means he must decide now what to tell her, and as much as he might not want to admit it...there are plenty of ugly memories in his heart, and much as he has tried to embrace them, to make them a part of himself so he can be a better person, it still isn't easy to look back on them. To recall when he was at his lowest, and what it had been like, to feel like he was losing everything. His friends, his home, the only semblance of identity he had known beyond the barcode on his wrist. It isn't easy to think about. It isn't easy to share.
But they aren't doing this because it's easy. It may have been a bit easier if he had told Alisaie more about his travels back home before now, but that context isn't as important as his relationships, and those she does know. She's known since she took him out to the forest to shout and vent until he was burned out. His friends...are the most important thing in the world to him.
So it's only natural, then, that his most painful memories would involve them, too. He drops his chin, quiet for a long moment in reflection, and when he speaks again, his voice is quiet, a careful murmur, like he is walking through eggshells in his heart. ]
You're not gonna like what you hear.
[ Just. Giving her one more chance to avoid it, if she wants to. ]
[ she had a feeling he might say something like this, so she's ready to shake her head immediately, and lay her palm over his knuckles, squeezing gently, but firmly. though she appreciates his consideration, it is not necessary - she asked for this, she is ready to handle whatever he might say. he's told her the terrible circumstances of his birth, after all; if that could not frighten her off, nothing will. ]
No. I-I'm not. Just...nervous. I...heh. I haven't really told anyone about a lotta this stuff.
[ Which he knows isn't great, but it is what it is. Even when Gladio had returned with memories that lined up with Prompto's own, he didn't talk about...everything. Mostly, he'd apologized for not telling him sooner, for keeping it all to himself. A habit which he...still hasn't really broken.
But Noctis still doesn't know, and that's what makes it especially difficult, because Prompto had worked through the worst of his issues, and Noctis doesn't even know anything happened yet.
He's been quiet for far too long, but her hand is warm over his, and it spurs him onwards. ]
It's, uh...it's a long story. But...this one time, I thought Noct hated me, and he pushed me off a train, and...I wound up getting taken back to where I was...made.
[ So. Yeah.
That was a pretty bad string of memories right there. ]
[ it's clear that whatever he has to say is not easy to speak of, but she waits patiently for him to sort it it - though she might have felt sorry asking so much of him, it also seems as if he's willing and ready to talk about it, and if he's never spoken of it before.. well, maybe it is time that he should.
alisaie's brow knits, and she gently works her fingers through his own to anchor him, to remind him that she is here, that everything is all right. ]
Did you.. find out, then, about who you are? Or had you already known?
[ Her grasp on his hand roots him to this spot, this time and place, and it's a good thing, as mired in memories as he is right now. It's almost as if he can feel the cold sting of the Niflheim winds on his skin, hear Ardyn's laugh echoing in his head. To you, this place should have some sentimental value. He can see Noct running towards him, chasing him down, sword in hand — memories he has kept at the cusp because he didn't see a reason to dredge them up here. He had made peace with it, hadn't he? He and Noct had talked about it. About how when all was said and done and Noctis took his place as king, he would knock down the walls between Lucis and the Empire and bring everyone together as one. And for Prompto, an Imperial by creation, continually afraid of being different, hated because of where he was from, that was all he needed to hear.
And in his heart, he knows that still counts. That even if Noct doesn't remember here, it doesn't undo everything that happened. It doesn't negate what Prompto had to fight for, or what decisions he'd made when he was on his own. It isn't...disingenuous for him to keep on that path, to continue to grow and make himself better, to talk about these things because they're important to talk about. Maybe talking about this with Alisaie will finally give him the courage to bring it up with Noct.
So he squeezes her hand tightly, stroking his thumb across her palm, steeling himself with these sweet, tender things. ]
...No. Well...kinda. I always...I always had my code print, and I knew I wasn't...normal. That I was different from everyone else because of it. But I didn't know until I was actually there that I was...created to become an MT. M-magitek trooper. I-I found out about all that, and I thought my best friend hated me...not my best week.
[ He smiles weakly, though it doesn't reach his eyes. ]
[ there is not much to be done but to wait, to allow him to work out how he will tell his story, but with hope he will find the strength that she knows he possesses in order to master his fear and memories - which are just that, and only that. memories.
but just as she had hoped, he works his way through it. alisaie offers a lopsided smile, and her hand slips away from his own, but only so that she can lift it to touch his face, cupping his cheek against her palm, her thumb coasting over his freckled cheekbone. ]
You do know that none of it matters, don't you?
[ she asks, her smile curling at the edges. that his memory can affect him so strongly is testament to his great, tender heart, but he may also need reminding that it is in the past, and in no way affects the person he is today. ]
Learning those things has only made you stronger. You know full well that how you came to be does not matter, all that matters is what you choose to do with the life given to you. No matter how terrible the circumstances of your birth may have been, I am grateful for them, for otherwise you would not be here.
[ When she lifts her hand to his cheek, his eyes lid heavily, a smile blossoming in spite of himself as he leans into her touch, her warmth. That would have been enough, the simple, tangible reassurance that she is at his side, that even knowing all this she would choose to remain here. But then she goes on, speaking such wonderful, sweet words to him, and it takes all his strength of will to keep the tears that gather on his eyelashes from spilling down his cheeks. His smile only widens beneath her hand, and a breath trembles out of him, somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
That someone could say such wonderful things to him...it is no small thing. His heart swells with warmth and affection both, spilling into his blood and bones, and he lifts his hand to cover her own on his cheek, to hold it in place before he nuzzles against her palm. ]
You...really mean that?
[ She does. He knows she does. But that isn't why he asks. ]
[ she doesn't expect him to go nuzzling into her hand, and it makes her face flush a warm pink, but she does not pull away, even if she.. can't, once his hand is over hers, anyway. a pleasant heat envelops and squeezes her heart, strengthening her smile. ]
Of course I do.
[ she says, with a quiet firmness. ]
Imagine out places reversed. Imagine it were I, telling you this story. Would you think lesser of me, for where I came from? For a circumstance over which I had no control?
[ He seems to remember himself once her face flushes, but he doesn't pull away from the warmth of her hand. He needs it too much right now, while his heart is racing and his thoughts swimming, to keep him in this moment. It's so warm, it's so real. There's nowhere else he wants to be, no one he would rather be talking to about this right now than her.
His lips broaden into a smile against her palm, though one tear slips loose, falling over their tangled fingers. ]
Nah, of course not. [ She'd used this kind of reasoning on him before, and as difficult as it had been for him to accept, he's beginning to come to terms with it. ] I guess I just...still have a hard time seeing...
[ He lets out a thinly held breath. ]
...Seeing my own value sometimes still. Really believing that I'm not just some loser. But I...I'm trying to.
[ He's really trying. For her, for his brothers, for all his friends who believe in him. ]
[ not trying hard enough for her liking, but still. that he is trying at all is still plenty, and this is not something that can be forced. he must work through it on his own time, in his own way. but she has every confidence that he will, that he has the strength to see it through. ]
Just remember that every time you think that, you are insulting a dear friend of mine, and that is not something that I will abide.
[ A small chuckle escapes him, though he knows she means that earnestly, too. He draws back from her hand, taking hers between both of his, though his fingers tremble, his palms cold and clammy. Hopefully she doesn't mind the sweaty awkward boy hands for now...one day, maybe he'll get let jittery about this kind of stuff. ]
You gonna kick my ass if I give myself a hard time?
[ He's joking, but also kind of serious. HE WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HER. Next time he calls himself a loser, she's going to sock him in the gut, probably. ]
[ and he has fair warning, now, for the future.. ]
I certainly would, if a stranger said those things about you, so why should I allow you to get away with it as well?
[ were anyone at all to say such terrible things about him she would jump on them immediately, and tear them a new one, for sure. he is no exception to this rule. prompto is her close friend. she cares for him a great deal, and would never abide anyone speaking ill of him, that he could think these things about himself at all is a blow to her heart. if helping him to push past it means she has to kick his ass a couple times.. well. so be it. ]
[ Man, where was she when he was in grade school? If only he had someone like Alisaie to defend him from bullies when he had been younger...and to defend him from himself. But she's here now, insisting that he treat himself better, and it is something he is consciously working on. He spends less time worrying about his own inadequacy and giving things his all, fears less about where he came from because it isn't who he is now.
I can't choose where I came from, but I can choose where I'm going. ]
I'll do my best, then. For you, and for everyone else, too.
[ He's finally beginning to understand, to believe that it's really what they want and hope for him.
He exhales deep and long, letting go of her hand at last. ]
...Think I promised you a happy memory after that lil' doozy.
[ that is a more than sufficient answer for her, it would seem. alisaie is an impatient girl, nothing would please her more than to just punch the low self-esteem right out of him, but that is not a viable method. he needs time, and she will allow him that, especially if he continues to make strides.
so she nods, a bright smile unfurling over her face, her freed hands going right back to the food now. ]
[ (I mean, she could try punching it out of him. It might prove rather effective, if not memorable.)
Happier memories are, of course, much easier for him to talk at length about, even if they are no more important than the painful ones, too. The nerves in his stomach quiet, though his fingers still tremble as he reaches for a bunch of grapes. It'll be a few minutes before the adrenaline burns off entirely. ]
Heh...happiest memory, huh? I can't believe you're makin' me pick just one! Can't I cheat a little? At least two?
[ He asks now, after he blatantly cheated on the "most painful memory" question. But those were all kind of one, long strung-together memory. The ones he's considering now are more disjointed, but are still all somehow related. Given what his most painful memories were about, she could probably make an educated guess about what his happiest memories look like, too.
(Spoilers: most of them involve Noctis Lucis Caelum.) ]
[ gross.. but for the love of prompto i will endure this. ]
You can tell me as many as you like.
[ she says, through a sunny laugh and a mouthful of cookies. ]
You can tell me whatever you want.
[ she had just been going for a rapid fire ask and tell sort of thing so they could learn a lot about each other in a short time, but i mean, this works too. she never tires of listening to him talk (she will come to regret this thought someday), and she is more than happy to listen to any story he has to tell her. ]
[ She sure will come to regret that someday, when he won't shut up in the middle of the night and she has to smother him with a pillow.
But for now, she is happy to listen and he is happy to talk, so he pops a grape into his mouth as a fondly nostalgic look settles in his features, his eyes soft and crinkled with the warmth of his smile. ]
You got it, Ali. Fair warning, though — we miiiiight be here for awhile.
[ For all his life has been shaped by darkness and circumstances beyond his control, he has so very many good memories, too. Ones he cherishes deeply, ones that give him light when darkness surrounds him, ones that kindle the flame in his heart. He is only too eager to share them with her, to invite her into such special and precious moments of his life. It's...exhilarating, so share all this with another person, to actually want to bear so much of himself to her. ]
Well, there was the time I rescued the Oracle's dog, and she sent me a letter thanking me. She's like, a big deal. A super big deal. The only person in our world who can act as a bridge between us and the gods. And she took the time to write to someone like me.
[ That letter had such a profound and sweeping impact on his life. He can't overstate how very much it meant to him. ]
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...But those tears turn out not to be due to anything negative, or because she doesn't agree with his sentiment. Still, that makes it no easier to witness them gathering on her eyelashes, and thoughtlessly, his hand moves over hers, squeezing gently.
No, he hadn't meant those words to affect her quite so deeply, but seeing that slight smile upon her lips, he's glad that it has. That he was right in perceiving just how much her grandfather meant to her — still means to her. ]
I mean, how couldn't he be? You're so...amazing, Ali. Anyone could see that.
[ Them's the facts, he's just the messenger!! ]
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she knows he is right. she remembers her grandfather's smile as he faded from the world for good, she remembers his words, but it is nevertheless very powerful to hear them affirmed by someone else, all these years later. ]
Now you're just laying it on thick.
[ she says through a thin but genuine laugh, her free hand lifting to quickly swipe the wetness from her eyes before it can spread. ]
Do shut up.
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Maybe he's getting a bit better at this whole...people-ing thing. ]
H-hey! Cut me some slack, will ya? I'm just callin' it like it is. Don't shoot the messenger!
[ He lifts his free hand up defensively, shielding his heart. ]
A-anyway, y-you better just get used to me bein'... [ His blush renews, cheeks flushing scarlet. ] S-sweet on you.
[ It's only going to get grosser from here. ]
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but it still makes her face blaze brightly nevertheless, even if she's quick to punch him in the arm soon after. ]
T-That's quite enough of that.
[ baka!! ]
Now, I believe it is your turn.
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So, noted. ]
What, you wanna hear about the time I got the high score at Kick Puncher at the arcade? [ Okay, he's joking this time, honest. ] Well...what do you wanna hear about?
[ He'll tell her anything she wants to know. She has more than earned that of him, having so diligently handled his heart with such care.
His life is hers to know, every page of it, every moment. ]
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Mmm..
[ she hums, rolling her eyes thoughtfully skyward. had she known this would happen, she would've come prepared with a list of questions!! she almost has option paralysis - would it be too much to ask him to recount the entirety of his life from start to finish? ]
Tell me your happiest memory, and also your most painful.
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Quietly thoughtful for a moment, he leans back on his hands, blinking against the sun-dappled water. ]
...Okay. You want the happiest one first, or...or the most painful one?
[ His heart rate is picking up again already. She already knows his darkest secret, there's nothing he can tell her that's worse than what she already knows. But still, he's not...used to talking about this stuff. On focusing on his negative memories, as well as his positive ones, though at least by now he can acknowledge that they have strengthened him, too.
Still, the choice is hers. ]
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The painful one, first.
[ she answers, after a thoughtful pause. better to allow himself to be exposed, to churn up what might be painful, then heal it with a smile, a happier memory. getting to know one another is not easy, but.. this is what she wants, and she is sure it must be what he wants as well. ]
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But they aren't doing this because it's easy. It may have been a bit easier if he had told Alisaie more about his travels back home before now, but that context isn't as important as his relationships, and those she does know. She's known since she took him out to the forest to shout and vent until he was burned out. His friends...are the most important thing in the world to him.
So it's only natural, then, that his most painful memories would involve them, too. He drops his chin, quiet for a long moment in reflection, and when he speaks again, his voice is quiet, a careful murmur, like he is walking through eggshells in his heart. ]
You're not gonna like what you hear.
[ Just. Giving her one more chance to avoid it, if she wants to. ]
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Do not worry for me.
[ a beat, and she squeezes his hand again. ]
Though if you are not comfortable..
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No. I-I'm not. Just...nervous. I...heh. I haven't really told anyone about a lotta this stuff.
[ Which he knows isn't great, but it is what it is. Even when Gladio had returned with memories that lined up with Prompto's own, he didn't talk about...everything. Mostly, he'd apologized for not telling him sooner, for keeping it all to himself. A habit which he...still hasn't really broken.
But Noctis still doesn't know, and that's what makes it especially difficult, because Prompto had worked through the worst of his issues, and Noctis doesn't even know anything happened yet.
He's been quiet for far too long, but her hand is warm over his, and it spurs him onwards. ]
It's, uh...it's a long story. But...this one time, I thought Noct hated me, and he pushed me off a train, and...I wound up getting taken back to where I was...made.
[ So. Yeah.
That was a pretty bad string of memories right there. ]
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alisaie's brow knits, and she gently works her fingers through his own to anchor him, to remind him that she is here, that everything is all right. ]
Did you.. find out, then, about who you are? Or had you already known?
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And in his heart, he knows that still counts. That even if Noct doesn't remember here, it doesn't undo everything that happened. It doesn't negate what Prompto had to fight for, or what decisions he'd made when he was on his own. It isn't...disingenuous for him to keep on that path, to continue to grow and make himself better, to talk about these things because they're important to talk about. Maybe talking about this with Alisaie will finally give him the courage to bring it up with Noct.
So he squeezes her hand tightly, stroking his thumb across her palm, steeling himself with these sweet, tender things. ]
...No. Well...kinda. I always...I always had my code print, and I knew I wasn't...normal. That I was different from everyone else because of it. But I didn't know until I was actually there that I was...created to become an MT. M-magitek trooper. I-I found out about all that, and I thought my best friend hated me...not my best week.
[ He smiles weakly, though it doesn't reach his eyes. ]
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but just as she had hoped, he works his way through it. alisaie offers a lopsided smile, and her hand slips away from his own, but only so that she can lift it to touch his face, cupping his cheek against her palm, her thumb coasting over his freckled cheekbone. ]
You do know that none of it matters, don't you?
[ she asks, her smile curling at the edges. that his memory can affect him so strongly is testament to his great, tender heart, but he may also need reminding that it is in the past, and in no way affects the person he is today. ]
Learning those things has only made you stronger. You know full well that how you came to be does not matter, all that matters is what you choose to do with the life given to you. No matter how terrible the circumstances of your birth may have been, I am grateful for them, for otherwise you would not be here.
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That someone could say such wonderful things to him...it is no small thing. His heart swells with warmth and affection both, spilling into his blood and bones, and he lifts his hand to cover her own on his cheek, to hold it in place before he nuzzles against her palm. ]
You...really mean that?
[ She does. He knows she does. But that isn't why he asks. ]
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Of course I do.
[ she says, with a quiet firmness. ]
Imagine out places reversed. Imagine it were I, telling you this story. Would you think lesser of me, for where I came from? For a circumstance over which I had no control?
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His lips broaden into a smile against her palm, though one tear slips loose, falling over their tangled fingers. ]
Nah, of course not. [ She'd used this kind of reasoning on him before, and as difficult as it had been for him to accept, he's beginning to come to terms with it. ] I guess I just...still have a hard time seeing...
[ He lets out a thinly held breath. ]
...Seeing my own value sometimes still. Really believing that I'm not just some loser. But I...I'm trying to.
[ He's really trying. For her, for his brothers, for all his friends who believe in him. ]
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[ not trying hard enough for her liking, but still. that he is trying at all is still plenty, and this is not something that can be forced. he must work through it on his own time, in his own way. but she has every confidence that he will, that he has the strength to see it through. ]
Just remember that every time you think that, you are insulting a dear friend of mine, and that is not something that I will abide.
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You gonna kick my ass if I give myself a hard time?
[ He's joking, but also kind of serious. HE WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HER. Next time he calls himself a loser, she's going to sock him in the gut, probably. ]
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[ and he has fair warning, now, for the future.. ]
I certainly would, if a stranger said those things about you, so why should I allow you to get away with it as well?
[ were anyone at all to say such terrible things about him she would jump on them immediately, and tear them a new one, for sure. he is no exception to this rule. prompto is her close friend. she cares for him a great deal, and would never abide anyone speaking ill of him, that he could think these things about himself at all is a blow to her heart. if helping him to push past it means she has to kick his ass a couple times.. well. so be it. ]
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I can't choose where I came from, but I can choose where I'm going. ]
I'll do my best, then. For you, and for everyone else, too.
[ He's finally beginning to understand, to believe that it's really what they want and hope for him.
He exhales deep and long, letting go of her hand at last. ]
...Think I promised you a happy memory after that lil' doozy.
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so she nods, a bright smile unfurling over her face, her freed hands going right back to the food now. ]
Yes, you did.
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Happier memories are, of course, much easier for him to talk at length about, even if they are no more important than the painful ones, too. The nerves in his stomach quiet, though his fingers still tremble as he reaches for a bunch of grapes. It'll be a few minutes before the adrenaline burns off entirely. ]
Heh...happiest memory, huh? I can't believe you're makin' me pick just one! Can't I cheat a little? At least two?
[ He asks now, after he blatantly cheated on the "most painful memory" question. But those were all kind of one, long strung-together memory. The ones he's considering now are more disjointed, but are still all somehow related. Given what his most painful memories were about, she could probably make an educated guess about what his happiest memories look like, too.
(Spoilers: most of them involve Noctis Lucis Caelum.) ]
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You can tell me as many as you like.
[ she says, through a sunny laugh and a mouthful of cookies. ]
You can tell me whatever you want.
[ she had just been going for a rapid fire ask and tell sort of thing so they could learn a lot about each other in a short time, but i mean, this works too. she never tires of listening to him talk (she will come to regret this thought someday), and she is more than happy to listen to any story he has to tell her. ]
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But for now, she is happy to listen and he is happy to talk, so he pops a grape into his mouth as a fondly nostalgic look settles in his features, his eyes soft and crinkled with the warmth of his smile. ]
You got it, Ali. Fair warning, though — we miiiiight be here for awhile.
[ For all his life has been shaped by darkness and circumstances beyond his control, he has so very many good memories, too. Ones he cherishes deeply, ones that give him light when darkness surrounds him, ones that kindle the flame in his heart. He is only too eager to share them with her, to invite her into such special and precious moments of his life. It's...exhilarating, so share all this with another person, to actually want to bear so much of himself to her. ]
Well, there was the time I rescued the Oracle's dog, and she sent me a letter thanking me. She's like, a big deal. A super big deal. The only person in our world who can act as a bridge between us and the gods. And she took the time to write to someone like me.
[ That letter had such a profound and sweeping impact on his life. He can't overstate how very much it meant to him. ]
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