[ It had taken all of a second for Prompto to feel like he had gone from being a decent enough boyfriend to the worst boyfriend on the planet. The cause: discovering, to his abject horror and by pure random chance, that he has missed Alisaie's birthday by about a month. Sure, he had asked her plenty of times when it was, and she never gave him an answer, but that is no excuse! She had made him feel so special on his birthday, all those months ago back at the temple. It feels like a lifetime ago, but that was their first kiss. So much had started that day. It's a birthday he'll treasure forever, and so it was imperative that he make her birthday special, too. Beyond special, really.
And he missed it. By a month.
He has to pull out all the stops, and fast. It takes some haphazard planning, a lot of begging favors from his friends, some of the chroma that Alisaie herself has, uh, helped him earn a fair sum of, but Prompto pulls together something in half a day to celebrate her birthday belatedly. Maybe he should have waited and given himself more time to plan, but every second that passes means he is even later to her birthday. He can wait no longer.
So when Alisaie returns to her apartment in the evening, she will find...a cake. A comically large one that could not possibly be eaten by one person, or even a group of people. It's that big. It's rich and chocolate and decorated with little iced carbuncles. He must've spent a fortune on it...but it's all worth it. At the top burn two candles: 19.
Yes, Prompto has gone all out to get Alisaie this cake — and more to come, though he, uh, doesn't actually appear to be present when she arrives to discover it. Welp. That's unfortunate... ]
[ to be perfectly honest, alisaie had forgotten all about her nameday.
she has never much paid mind to it to begin with. it is a day that she and her brother share, and as he was ever the more social and popular of the two, she found herself.. overshadowed, a bit, on her own nameday.
she did not mind. it was not his fault. alphinaud was amiable, even back then - by their peers, at least. he was the very picture of a sharlayan golden boy, he has always been good with words, with people, he could not be blamed for having friends, and that she had none was her own fault for being so surly and rude, as unlikable as her brother was likable. she does not resent him, nor their many shared namedays, but suffice it to say it was never a day she particularly cared for - being made a fuss over, even in the smallest of ways, was not (and still is not) particularly comfortable for her.
and yet, here prompto (presumably) is, making a fuss.
well, she is comfortable with him, she loves him, his attentions are something she learned to not only tolerate, but enjoy, some time ago. still, this is.. well, it certainly is excessive, isn't it?
and where is prompto??
carefully, alisaie approaches the colossal confection, eyeing its high walls, thick with glossy frosting, and are those.. are those little carbuncles on it? oh no, that is so cute she can't help but laugh aloud before she turns on her heel. ]
Oh, come out already, Prompto. What is this monstrosity?
Well, seen being the keyword. The thing is, he has a plan for how this will go down, but he now, at the precipice of it all, he's feeling a little paralyzed. Is this a stupid idea? It's probably a stupid idea. But he already went through all the trouble and there's not like there's any backing out now...
No, there is only one way: forward.
Still, Prompto makes no answer. However, if Alisaie is listening closely...
she isn't surprised to hear the sneeze - the candles are freshly lit, prompto is nearby, of that much she is certain, but she's still perplexed. why is he hiding?? what is the meaning of all this??
with her brow drawn, alisaie approaches the cake more closely, peering behind it, then kneeling to check beneath the table. ]
Still, he doesn't answer, because he has another sneeze, and he's trying to hold it in. Geez, it's like he's allergic to the inside of cakes or something.
Finally, he answers (in what is supposed to be an ethereal voice): ]
Nooooothing! There is no Prompto here!
[ Okay, he might be improving now. ]
Just...out of curiosity, though, how close are you standing to the cake?
alisaie is squinting now, straightening up to eye the cake with suspicion. she's no fool, but there aren't really any.. people in cakes on hydaelyn so i mean, she really doesn't expect him to be inside it. what is going on?? ]
[ Oh, okay, good, she's in front of it. Thank gods, because he's starting to feel kind of claustrophobic in here. He probably sort of ruined the surprise by asking a question, but he didn't want to pop out of this thing while she was standing across the room or behind him.
A few things because quickly apparent as Prompto erupts out of the cake.
1. Yes, indeed, he was inside the cake. 2. He is definitely completely butt-ass naked. Though it's a bit difficult to tell, because right now, he's just covered in cake.
Anyway, here he is, cake bits flying everywhere (don't worry, there's still plenty left to eat that didn't touch his naked body) as he throws some confetti and bellows: ]
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Alisaieeeeee, happy birthday to youuuuu! And many more....!
[ Another handful of confetti rains down on her head.
[ It's been awhile since Prompto and Alisaie's little disastrous rendezvous in the Groves...okay, it's been a few days. Okay, it's been one day, but Prompto has thusly figured that that is plenty of time for things to have blown over between them. It was just a fluke, right? A fluke in the shape of a spider with extremely poor timing. Everything's good now. They'll get another chance to do the outdoor sex thing!
Which is why he doesn't foresee any obstacles in his path to boner town as they two of them are getting ready for bed the next evening. There eggs are nestled in the nearby armchair, they're both finishing their nightly routines, and Prompto is even looking especially adorable with his hair worn down and fluffy, just the way she likes it. A little bang before bed seems like just the perfect way to cap the day off!
...Though, of course, it always seems like the perfect way to cap the day off to him.
Alisaie is already settled in bed with a book, Pea curled at the foot of the bed, when Prompto steps back into the bedroom. Okay, now's the time to work his charm! Slipping beneath the covers next to her, he plays it cool for the moment, checking his messages on his watch as he settles down. He's gotta ease into it, can't come on too strong... ]
[ ah, it has been an entire day since spidergate... and pepperidge farm remembers.
not that she has given him a particularly hard time about it. she was quite cross with him for a few hours, certainly, sharp and snappy and giving him the cold shoulder, but like as not prompto has learned by now to back off when her hackles are raised.
but the status quo was reestablished soon enough. mostly. the day finished, she slept that night without snuggles, worked today, enjoyed dinner - everything seems more or less back to normal.
or is it.. ]
Hm?
[ alisaie looks to him over the ridge of her book. aww, his hair is so fluffy! too bad it doesn't matter. ]
Just a brief history.
[ it's a real big book tho... he would probably fall asleep on the first page. ]
Yeah, okay, sure. Even if it weren't so big, he would probably fall asleep reading it. But falling asleep is the farthest thing from his mind right now, even if he did just crawl into bed. A warm, lazy smile hooks across his mouth, as he edges just a hair closer, turning his body so he's on his side, while one hand reaches over so his fingertips can drag slow and fond over her forearm. ]
Hm...pretty neat. It's too bad it's not one of your books from work, though...
[ You know, the ones she reads when she thinks he's asleep... ]
[ WOW CALLING HER OUT ON HER BODICE RIPPER SMUT!!!! alisaie shoots him a sharp glance, but returns soon enough to her reading. while she otherwise might smile and give him that hooded glance, nala.jpg, and shut her book, right now she does not react at all, neither positively nor negatively.
she just. exists. her eyes still scanning the page. her voice is not unkind, but there appears to be no real interest in it either. ]
alisaie is silent for several very long seconds, before at last her eyes flicker toward his face. normally she might be tempted by a smoldering look like that, her thirst often rivals his own, but now? now she is a stone wall, her expression smooth and unchanged, she does not react even a LITTLE!!! ]
Oh?
[ her gaze flits right back to the pages of her book again, unimpressed. ]
What would that be?
[ maybe he should have tried putting on his glasses. ]
[Connor finding her in the crowds had been a miraculous stroke of luck. (Well, maybe not that much luck, considering how much she stuck out even in this animal-traited population.) Still, it felt like a miracle, seeing Connor again, and then another miracle when he brought her back home to Arenvald, then another miracle then Arevald told her Alisaie was here, too.]
Alisaieeeeeeeeeeeeee-
[Which is what has led to a certain jinba at a certain white-haired young lady's "house", clutching said white-haired lady to her breast in a giant bear hug, blubbering in relief.]
I thought I'd never see you again! I'm so glad you're okay!
it's not that alisaie is not happy to see her. she is overjoyed. many of her closest companions from the circle had made the jump to lunatia beside her, but konoha had not been among them, and it would be a lie to say that alisaie had not missed her dearly. moreso, she had worried. so the sight of the familiar jinba barreling toward her on four hooves is far more exciting than intimidating.
.. but she is very small, and she cannot breathe!! ]
Konoha, please -
[ she starts, but honestly, she cannot help but laugh, soft and easy. ]
[It's been a roller coaster of emotions and events since she woke up on that moon in the dark sky, ups and downs and so much confusing information she was supposed to remember from the "locals" and now-
At least Connor, Arenvald, and Alisaie are alright. Well- Alisaie might not be alright very long if Konoha keeps half-smothering her in soft bosom, but.]
We kept traveling to all these other worlds, but you weren't there-
[And her world had sound so full of strange and magical dangers, so even if she'd thought positively and imagined that she'd gone home...]
I was really worried-
[And so, so glad to hear her laugh, motivated to wipe at her eyes and try and stop her tears of relief.]
[ konoha's tears jerk at her heart, and alisaie feels her own throat constricting in response, a warm, tremulous smile curving her lips, but she will stoically restrain any tears!! both hands come to rest on konoha's arms, her fingers loosely hooked in the fabric of her sleeves. ]
I am sorry.
[ she says, gently. ]
I did not mean to worry you, or any of the others. But you need fret no longer, I am perfectly safe.
[ it was a worry that went both ways - not a day has gone by since she left the circle that alisaie has wondered what became of them, and she only she and a handful of others ended up here, separated from the rest. this gives her no answers, but it does ease her heart, just a little. ]
[Konoha might not be able to stop the tears for a little while, but she manages a smile through them, full of relief that Alisaie not only says she's alright, but looks it, too. This place, it didn't seem to be as dangerous so far compared to some of the worlds they'd traveled to in the Circle, but still-]
What have you been up to all this time?
[With great effort, she manages to loosen her hold on the shorter girl just a little, looking down at her with still-wet eyes.]
You have to tell me all about it-
[And Konoha should probably get the heck out of Alisaie's doorway, but. Priorities.]
[ at last she can breathe, freed from the soft yet suffocating bosom prison.. ]
Precious little, to be quite honest. Compared with our work for the Circle, this place is.. peaceful.
[ the hug might have broken, but alisaie's hands remain rested on konoha's forearms. she might not be the one pulling anyone into bear hugs, but she has nevertheless missed konoha very, very much. it feels selfish to be happy to see her here, when she could be home, but still.. ]
There have been a few hiccups here and there, but most of the time, life here is oddly placid.
[ Just one more day, he keeps telling himself. One more day, and things will turn around. They'll start to get better. It's only a matter of time, right? Prompto believes in their love more than he believe in just about anything else. Alisaie will come around. He only needs to continue to be patient with her, show his support in every way he can without coming on too strong, and let her remember their time here together. How good it was, and how happy they were. It's only a matter of time.
Except that...it isn't. They days tick by. Life goes on, but it isn't the same, and the natural rift between them brought on by her time away in Norvrandt doesn't begin to heal the way he expects it to. They sleep separately, not just for the first night, but for days, weeks, until it because a habit in itself, that restless sleep he obtains why they shuffle between the bed and the couch, wordlessly switching off where they sleep alone. It doesn't get easier, the empty space beside him. Knowing she sleeps only a wall away only makes it worse, the silence punctuated by every small noise they make in their time apart in the night.
When they rise, they fall into a simple rhythm, patterns that echo with what they used to be, and it gives Prompto hope. They still cook together sometimes — it's a good distraction for their hands and minds. They take Pea for walks, they go to work and shop and see their friends. They function as normal, but not as them. Not as Alisaie and Prompto. Their physical contact is brief, they don't kiss, they don't say I love you, and they certainly don't attempt anything intimate. At first, Prompto is happy to do it, to give Alisaie the space that she needs to grow accustomed to being here again, to being around him again, but then the days turn into weeks, and for one who thrives on physical affection like Prompto, the distance is...suffocating. It sows seeds of panic in his heart, and while they take time to truly form and take root against his unrelenting hopefulness, those doubts are getting harder and harder to drown out.
He only lets it get to him in the dead of night, when he's sure she must be asleep. Still, he keeps his sniffles as quiet as he can, and wipes the tear tracks from his cheeks.
But it's just one more day. And one more after that, and one more after that. Even Prompto, in his infinite hopefulness and optimism, cannot hope to keep the demons in his own heart at bay forever, and he isn't delusional. Things...aren't getting better. They haven't changed. And while he refuses to push Alisaie in any direction to allow her to be as comfortable and accommodating as possible while she adjusts, how long will she need? When will she let him in again?
Then it doesn't become a question of "if", but "when" will she let him in again.
He should talk to her about it. He knows he should, but he's never been great at confrontation, especially starting it. Instead, he continues what he's been doing, but even that seems to be wearing on Alisaie's nerves. She becomes shorter and shorter with him, snapping at him over little things, leaving the room in hurried huffs, and there doesn't seem to be anything he can to do keep things from spiraling out of control. She doesn't want him to be sweet, she doesn't want him to be jovial, she doesn't want him to be quiet — it's like nothing he can do is right, and more and more what he fears most becomes apparent. Maybe he's been lying to himself all along.
Alisaie isn't trying to work up to allowing herself to love him again. She's trying to figure out how to handle a boyfriend she no longer loves. And it...just makes sense, doesn't it? She was gone for a whole goddamn year. She changed. To expect her to come back here and just love him again is ludicrous. He's ready to love her for the rest of her life, but if she doesn't feel the same...
Gods, to even think it makes him feel dizzy and sick. Just one more day...surely, things will turn around.
The place they once called their home together now feels hostile and uncomfortable, the new miserable status quo. Neither of them are happy, but they're still trying. Or, at least, neither of them will address what is wrong, and they continue to go through the motions. Until Alisaie snaps again, over something simple he says, something inconsequential. The timing of the moons doesn't help, and with all three in full swing, and Sanguis is beginning to boil hot in his blood. Before he can get in another word, though, she leaves, heading out for some "fresh air", though it's clear she doesn't intend to return anytime soon.
And isn't that just how it's been lately? Maybe she'll return after he goes to bed so she won't have to deal with facing him again. With the guilt, or the awkwardness, or whatever the hell it is that she's feeling. He wouldn't know it, because his heart feels closed off to him. She's still trying, but for what? What's the point in trying to make him believe this lie anymore? It's — it's just —
He can't take one more day. This needs to end. Confrontation comes much, more easily to him as Sanguis settles in full into his bones, as does his ability to track. He leaves the apartment and steps out into the cool evening air, Alisaie's scent drifting upon the breeze, and he moves swiftly. Not quite a wolf, but not quite a man, either. Thick patches of fur form along his forearms and shoulders (and elsewhere, wink wonk), his nails grow sharp, his telltale(tail) ears and tail sprout as usual. Alisaie's scent is easy to follow, even if there is something...different about it this month.
Something he can't identify until he at least finds her, out by the beach, bathed in the light of the three moons. Her usual fox features have been cranked up to eleven, a number of graceful, sleek tails sprouting at her back, and the pheromones she gives off are considerably more potent than normal, which is saying something. It's...immediately distracting, but not enough to deter Prompto from why he came here. From why he sought her out in the first place.
Hesitating only a moment, he approaches her, fists already balled tightly at his side. ]
Just stepping out for some "quick fresh air", huh?
[ That quick fresh air sure turned into staying away from home for several hours instead. ]
alisaie was sure that it would only be a matter of time. she remembers, after all - she remembers all of her time here, and her time with the circle. she remembers every moment spent with prompto, she remembers touching him and kissing him and how it felt to be in love with him, and it was not truly so very long ago. a year is no short amount of time, but neither is it an eternity, and as she settles back into life here the memories become stronger and stronger, until it feels almost natural to be here again.
.. almost.
yet still she feels like an outsider, like a puzzle piece that does not fit forced into place. it isn't only with prompto. it's everything. it's quick, easy meals. it's the quiet sound of the water. it's the streets thronging with people and prismals, all content, all happy, all living their lives without the threat of doom hanging over their heads. it's waking up every day to eat pancakes and work in a little book shop as if she has not spent the last year fighting for her life and the lives of countless others, watching her friends and loved ones suffer, helping hundreds of lives pass to the sunless sea before they could change into something painful and terrible.
she does not know how to adapt to everyday life again, and it is not getting easier, but instead more and more frustrating.
mayhaps she could speak with prompto - it might help. in the past she very well might have. but there is so much pain and disease in her heart that she has yet to process, and she does not know how to bring herself to speak about it, to tell him, or anyone, how she is feeling and, more importantly, why she is feeling that way. how can she explain that she cannot accept being happy and normal? how wrong is that, how foolish does it sound, even to her own ears? it's ludicrous. humiliating. she should be happy that there is peace here, and she is.
but gods, her heart is a thunderous tumult.
she takes it out on him. she knows she does. it's as if she can see her behavior through her own eyes and do nothing to stop it - the words are out before she can bite them back. she is snappish, and miserable, everything drives her mad, fuels her anger, and it is burning her up inside, eating her alive; she has no idea how to make it stop before it is too late and there is nothing of her left. and in this great storm of her heart and mind and spirit, how can she possibly find the time or energy to sort out her feelings for him? to find a way to love him again, when she cannot even find a way to simply exist here in peace? it's too much to contend with.
the evening air is crisp and chill, especially on the beach, where the ocean wind blows strong over the white-capped waves and catches in the hair she pulls down from its braid. it weaves through thick tufts of fur as the night wanes on and the moons rise high in the sky, changing her as it always does, though a little differently now. nine thick, lustrous tails, her ears tall and proud, her eyes a sharp and luminous gold - she looks as fierce and wild and dangerous as she feels, and when prompto's voice carries on the air she turns quickly, her tails lashing like whips behind her, angry and snapping. ]
What, would you prefer that I write you a schedule, next time? Or will you follow me like a wild dog, instead?
[ she says, her voice low and her long ears laid back against her hair. immediately she feels guilty for her tone, but her sense of reason is washed away by her own frustrations amplified by the light of the cordis moon, and his own fierce tone. he challenges her not only with his words and voice, but with his body, his posture, his scent, and gods she is ready to engage, to sink her teeth and claws into him and loose all the tension and fury on him that she has been only barely restraining for weeks. he offers her an outlet and she takes it without hesitation, all of her body tensing, leaning in his direction, sharp clawed toes digging bare into the sand, her too-bright eyes flickering in the dim evening light. ]
Is that what you need, little doggy? My constant attention? Shall I rub your belly and feed you a bone, as well?
[ Oh, how it rankles, how it stings, like a slap in the face, even if he's the one who came here as the aggressor. Alisaie doesn't even try for an apology before she's tearing into him, belittling him, and for all he might joke about his typical Sanguis appearance outside his moon phase, when it beats high in the sky, he can only feel deeply, deeply insulted and infuriated by her words. She treats him like a little pup, disdainful and mocking, and at once, the fury throbs in his blood. Is this...what she really thinks of him? Does she just see him as needy and desperate, like a parasite she doesn't know how to get rid of?
In any other state, this alone would be enough to break him, to reduce him to tears, but not now. Not when Sanguis is in control. She steps towards him and he does not step back, but forward himself, his eyes flashing dangerously, teeth bared in a grimace. It is not too unlike his encounter with Ardyn, he realizes in the back of his mind. He too goaded him with belittling words. And while Prompto has enough control over himself not to hurt Alisaie physically, the same cannot be said for the sharp words upon his tongue that sit like daggers, ready to be spewed. ]
Yeah, it'd kill you to throw me a bone, wouldn't it? Checks out, since you act like you can barely stand to be in the same room with me.
[ She was supposed to be someone who never grew sick of him. Who never grew tired of him, of his quirks and his big personality. She told him he was beautiful, that he was good enough, and now he isn't.
He swallows against the lump in his throat, focusing on his anger instead. ]
But lemme guess — it's not about me, isn't it? It's always been about you being comfortable and happy, no matter how long you make me wait. I wore you down last time, huh? Is that it? But that's not working this time. Doesn't work when you're too scared to face your own feelings, huh?
[ It's cruel. It's unfair. But his heart is bleeding, and with Sanguis firing on all cylinders in his blood, he can't stop it. ]
[ she will regret it, later. the things she has said and is saying, the things she will say, her temperament, her anger, her frustration - she will regret all of it. but the moons are high and their light feels unbearably strong. mayhaps it is this special transformation, the lingering effects of the wine they forced on her and all the changes it brought, but alisaie is positively feral, thoughtless, a being of instinct and reaction. ]
I never asked for any of that!
[ she growls, sharp fangs flashing in the moonlight as she moves closer still, circling him like prey, her tails thick and bristly, puffed and writhing like snakes. ]
You make these sacrifices of your own choice, do not dare to blame me because you are too afraid to face your life - and yet you dare accuse me of - of --
[ it stings, and she deserves it, she knows - she is throwing words at him like daggers, and so it stands to reason that he would throw them right back, yet still they sink right into the meat of her heart, hooking in, holding fast. he isn't wrong. she has told him of norvrandt, but she has not told him everything, she has not told him what keeps her up at night, or of the plaguing nightmares, how she jumps at shadows, how it feels always as if she is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. she hasn't told him the important things, and it is not because she does not trust him, but because.. she is afraid. ]
Do not think I have not noticed how you tiptoe around me like a frightened little pup, because you cannot stand the idea of being on your own.
[ She doesn't deny it. That he wore her down, that eventually she just...gave in. He still believes that she loved him, that all those times she told him so in the quiet, private spaces between them were real, but it took a great deal of shared trauma and pain for her to even confess. What if Akvos had never happened? Would they still just be drifting along, their relationship never really defined? Would it be the same feeling between them now, of discontent and confusion and hurt? Would she ever choose to love him without a spectre of fear overshadowing her decision to even be with him?
But it doesn't even matter now, does it? She no longer finds his presence comforting or familiar. She treats him like a stranger, not a lover. Any of the intimacy they had is long gone, instead replaced by this sham of an act while he waits. But he is done waiting. He can't do this anymore.
But neither is she wrong. The thought of being on his own again, of living a life without her is...terrifying. Enough to make him dizzy, and snap him out of his fury for just a moment. ]
I...I-I...
[ No. He won't stand for being treated like this. He won't stand to be hurt like this. Sanguis won't allow it. Sanguis will not be cowed, and neither will Prompto.
He steps in front of her to cut off her pacing around him. A little fox shouldn't play with wolves. ]
Yeah, because I love you! I love you, Alisaie! — Oh, shit, sooo sorry, was I not supposed to say that? Forgot you were allergic to talking to me about anything that matters. Forgot you're so closed off now you don't even know how to let me love you! I get it — you've been through hell, but so have I, and you could, I don't know, maybe try talking to me about it for once without me having to weasel it out of you!
[ His voice goes low, quiet, and lethally serious. ]
I was waiting for you to be ready, but you know what? You're never gonna be. Because you're too goddamn scared. You're chocobo shit.
[ It isn't just this time, even if it's the worst instance so far. But how many times has he withheld things from him that she needed to talk about because she was too afraid to face them? Maybe she trusted him, but she sure as hell doesn't act like it. ]
[ he cuts hard, and deep, and alisaie is, at first, too stunned even to react. he has stepped in her path, challenged her further still, and lanced his words straight through her heart. ]
You have no idea what I have -
[ and that is his point, isn't it? that he has no idea because she has not told him, because she has not opened herself. she is afraid. she does not know how to give words to the pain in her heart. but he takes it so damned personally every time. alisaie grits her sharp teeth, and lunges.
mayhaps it should not come to physicality, mayhaps it is below her, below them, but she has always spoken better with her sword than with her words, even without the light of the moons bearing down on her to greatly amplify it. she's positively rabid. alisaie launches herself at him bodily, with all of her might, slamming him down into the sand and pinning him back. ]
For someone with all the self assurance of a mewling babe, you can be so arrogant!
[ she snaps, baring her fangs ilms from his face, her claws digging into the sand around his wrists to pin them further. this fox is not afraid of wolves. ]
Not everything is about you! My pain is my own, you have no right to it simply because I care for you, if I choose not to tell you, it is not because I have some wild agenda to keep from trusting you - oh poor, poor Prompto, cannot possibly believe I care for him if I do not reveal every single thing! Shall I tear out my heart and lungs and guts for you, and present them upon a silver platter? Would that be enough for you?
[ somehow, she thinks it would not. alisaie's eyes narrow. ]
Your need to be loved is a bottomless hole, nothing will satisfy you!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
it's birthday time
And he missed it. By a month.
He has to pull out all the stops, and fast. It takes some haphazard planning, a lot of begging favors from his friends, some of the chroma that Alisaie herself has, uh, helped him earn a fair sum of, but Prompto pulls together something in half a day to celebrate her birthday belatedly. Maybe he should have waited and given himself more time to plan, but every second that passes means he is even later to her birthday. He can wait no longer.
So when Alisaie returns to her apartment in the evening, she will find...a cake. A comically large one that could not possibly be eaten by one person, or even a group of people. It's that big. It's rich and chocolate and decorated with little iced carbuncles. He must've spent a fortune on it...but it's all worth it. At the top burn two candles: 19.
Yes, Prompto has gone all out to get Alisaie this cake — and more to come, though he, uh, doesn't actually appear to be present when she arrives to discover it. Welp. That's unfortunate... ]
no subject
she has never much paid mind to it to begin with. it is a day that she and her brother share, and as he was ever the more social and popular of the two, she found herself.. overshadowed, a bit, on her own nameday.
she did not mind. it was not his fault. alphinaud was amiable, even back then - by their peers, at least. he was the very picture of a sharlayan golden boy, he has always been good with words, with people, he could not be blamed for having friends, and that she had none was her own fault for being so surly and rude, as unlikable as her brother was likable. she does not resent him, nor their many shared namedays, but suffice it to say it was never a day she particularly cared for - being made a fuss over, even in the smallest of ways, was not (and still is not) particularly comfortable for her.
and yet, here prompto (presumably) is, making a fuss.
well, she is comfortable with him, she loves him, his attentions are something she learned to not only tolerate, but enjoy, some time ago. still, this is.. well, it certainly is excessive, isn't it?
and where is prompto??
carefully, alisaie approaches the colossal confection, eyeing its high walls, thick with glossy frosting, and are those.. are those little carbuncles on it? oh no, that is so cute she can't help but laugh aloud before she turns on her heel. ]
Oh, come out already, Prompto. What is this monstrosity?
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Well, seen being the keyword. The thing is, he has a plan for how this will go down, but he now, at the precipice of it all, he's feeling a little paralyzed. Is this a stupid idea? It's probably a stupid idea. But he already went through all the trouble and there's not like there's any backing out now...
No, there is only one way: forward.
Still, Prompto makes no answer. However, if Alisaie is listening closely...
She might just hear a sneeze.
Coming from the direction of the cake. ]
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she isn't surprised to hear the sneeze - the candles are freshly lit, prompto is nearby, of that much she is certain, but she's still perplexed. why is he hiding?? what is the meaning of all this??
with her brow drawn, alisaie approaches the cake more closely, peering behind it, then kneeling to check beneath the table. ]
What in the world are you up to?
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Still, he doesn't answer, because he has another sneeze, and he's trying to hold it in. Geez, it's like he's allergic to the inside of cakes or something.
Finally, he answers (in what is supposed to be an ethereal voice): ]
Nooooothing! There is no Prompto here!
[ Okay, he might be improving now. ]
Just...out of curiosity, though, how close are you standing to the cake?
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alisaie is squinting now, straightening up to eye the cake with suspicion. she's no fool, but there aren't really any.. people in cakes on hydaelyn so i mean, she really doesn't expect him to be inside it. what is going on?? ]
I am.. in front of it.
[ a beat ]
Why?
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A few things because quickly apparent as Prompto erupts out of the cake.
1. Yes, indeed, he was inside the cake.
2. He is definitely completely butt-ass naked. Though it's a bit difficult to tell, because right now, he's just covered in cake.
Anyway, here he is, cake bits flying everywhere (don't worry, there's still plenty left to eat that didn't touch his naked body) as he throws some confetti and bellows: ]
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Alisaieeeeee, happy birthday to youuuuu! And many more....!
[ Another handful of confetti rains down on her head.
She chose this. ]
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time for the dunkening
Which is why he doesn't foresee any obstacles in his path to boner town as they two of them are getting ready for bed the next evening. There eggs are nestled in the nearby armchair, they're both finishing their nightly routines, and Prompto is even looking especially adorable with his hair worn down and fluffy, just the way she likes it. A little bang before bed seems like just the perfect way to cap the day off!
...Though, of course, it always seems like the perfect way to cap the day off to him.
Alisaie is already settled in bed with a book, Pea curled at the foot of the bed, when Prompto steps back into the bedroom. Okay, now's the time to work his charm! Slipping beneath the covers next to her, he plays it cool for the moment, checking his messages on his watch as he settles down. He's gotta ease into it, can't come on too strong... ]
Hey, babe. Whatcha readin'?
rip prompto..
not that she has given him a particularly hard time about it. she was quite cross with him for a few hours, certainly, sharp and snappy and giving him the cold shoulder, but like as not prompto has learned by now to back off when her hackles are raised.
but the status quo was reestablished soon enough. mostly. the day finished, she slept that night without snuggles, worked today, enjoyed dinner - everything seems more or less back to normal.
or is it.. ]
Hm?
[ alisaie looks to him over the ridge of her book. aww, his hair is so fluffy! too bad it doesn't matter. ]
Just a brief history.
[ it's a real big book tho... he would probably fall asleep on the first page. ]
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Yeah, okay, sure. Even if it weren't so big, he would probably fall asleep reading it. But falling asleep is the farthest thing from his mind right now, even if he did just crawl into bed. A warm, lazy smile hooks across his mouth, as he edges just a hair closer, turning his body so he's on his side, while one hand reaches over so his fingertips can drag slow and fond over her forearm. ]
Hm...pretty neat. It's too bad it's not one of your books from work, though...
[ You know, the ones she reads when she thinks he's asleep... ]
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she just. exists. her eyes still scanning the page. her voice is not unkind, but there appears to be no real interest in it either. ]
Mm. I prefer this, for the moment.
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His fingers continue to lazily trace her arm, sneaking up along her shoulder, skirting along the neckline of her nightgown. ]
Oh, yeah? You're sure in a studious mood tonight. [ HERE IT COMES....... ] Y'know, I've got something you can study, if you want a change of pace...
[ total nala.jpg. he's not even a little bit subtle now. ]
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why does she love him???
alisaie is silent for several very long seconds, before at last her eyes flicker toward his face. normally she might be tempted by a smoldering look like that, her thirst often rivals his own, but now? now she is a stone wall, her expression smooth and unchanged, she does not react even a LITTLE!!! ]
Oh?
[ her gaze flits right back to the pages of her book again, unimpressed. ]
What would that be?
[ maybe he should have tried putting on his glasses. ]
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backdated intro thread
Alisaieeeeeeeeeeeeee-
[Which is what has led to a certain jinba at a certain white-haired young lady's "house", clutching said white-haired lady to her breast in a giant bear hug, blubbering in relief.]
I thought I'd never see you again! I'm so glad you're okay!
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it's not that alisaie is not happy to see her. she is overjoyed. many of her closest companions from the circle had made the jump to lunatia beside her, but konoha had not been among them, and it would be a lie to say that alisaie had not missed her dearly. moreso, she had worried. so the sight of the familiar jinba barreling toward her on four hooves is far more exciting than intimidating.
.. but she is very small, and she cannot breathe!! ]
Konoha, please -
[ she starts, but honestly, she cannot help but laugh, soft and easy. ]
.. I am glad you are safe.
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At least Connor, Arenvald, and Alisaie are alright. Well- Alisaie might not be alright very long if Konoha keeps half-smothering her in soft bosom, but.]
We kept traveling to all these other worlds, but you weren't there-
[And her world had sound so full of strange and magical dangers, so even if she'd thought positively and imagined that she'd gone home...]
I was really worried-
[And so, so glad to hear her laugh, motivated to wipe at her eyes and try and stop her tears of relief.]
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I am sorry.
[ she says, gently. ]
I did not mean to worry you, or any of the others. But you need fret no longer, I am perfectly safe.
[ it was a worry that went both ways - not a day has gone by since she left the circle that alisaie has wondered what became of them, and she only she and a handful of others ended up here, separated from the rest. this gives her no answers, but it does ease her heart, just a little. ]
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What have you been up to all this time?
[With great effort, she manages to loosen her hold on the shorter girl just a little, looking down at her with still-wet eyes.]
You have to tell me all about it-
[And Konoha should probably get the heck out of Alisaie's doorway, but. Priorities.]
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Precious little, to be quite honest. Compared with our work for the Circle, this place is.. peaceful.
[ the hug might have broken, but alisaie's hands remain rested on konoha's forearms. she might not be the one pulling anyone into bear hugs, but she has nevertheless missed konoha very, very much. it feels selfish to be happy to see her here, when she could be home, but still.. ]
There have been a few hiccups here and there, but most of the time, life here is oddly placid.
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action; after chobigate
Except that...it isn't. They days tick by. Life goes on, but it isn't the same, and the natural rift between them brought on by her time away in Norvrandt doesn't begin to heal the way he expects it to. They sleep separately, not just for the first night, but for days, weeks, until it because a habit in itself, that restless sleep he obtains why they shuffle between the bed and the couch, wordlessly switching off where they sleep alone. It doesn't get easier, the empty space beside him. Knowing she sleeps only a wall away only makes it worse, the silence punctuated by every small noise they make in their time apart in the night.
When they rise, they fall into a simple rhythm, patterns that echo with what they used to be, and it gives Prompto hope. They still cook together sometimes — it's a good distraction for their hands and minds. They take Pea for walks, they go to work and shop and see their friends. They function as normal, but not as them. Not as Alisaie and Prompto. Their physical contact is brief, they don't kiss, they don't say I love you, and they certainly don't attempt anything intimate. At first, Prompto is happy to do it, to give Alisaie the space that she needs to grow accustomed to being here again, to being around him again, but then the days turn into weeks, and for one who thrives on physical affection like Prompto, the distance is...suffocating. It sows seeds of panic in his heart, and while they take time to truly form and take root against his unrelenting hopefulness, those doubts are getting harder and harder to drown out.
He only lets it get to him in the dead of night, when he's sure she must be asleep. Still, he keeps his sniffles as quiet as he can, and wipes the tear tracks from his cheeks.
But it's just one more day. And one more after that, and one more after that. Even Prompto, in his infinite hopefulness and optimism, cannot hope to keep the demons in his own heart at bay forever, and he isn't delusional. Things...aren't getting better. They haven't changed. And while he refuses to push Alisaie in any direction to allow her to be as comfortable and accommodating as possible while she adjusts, how long will she need? When will she let him in again?
Then it doesn't become a question of "if", but "when" will she let him in again.
He should talk to her about it. He knows he should, but he's never been great at confrontation, especially starting it. Instead, he continues what he's been doing, but even that seems to be wearing on Alisaie's nerves. She becomes shorter and shorter with him, snapping at him over little things, leaving the room in hurried huffs, and there doesn't seem to be anything he can to do keep things from spiraling out of control. She doesn't want him to be sweet, she doesn't want him to be jovial, she doesn't want him to be quiet — it's like nothing he can do is right, and more and more what he fears most becomes apparent. Maybe he's been lying to himself all along.
Alisaie isn't trying to work up to allowing herself to love him again. She's trying to figure out how to handle a boyfriend she no longer loves. And it...just makes sense, doesn't it? She was gone for a whole goddamn year. She changed. To expect her to come back here and just love him again is ludicrous. He's ready to love her for the rest of her life, but if she doesn't feel the same...
Gods, to even think it makes him feel dizzy and sick. Just one more day...surely, things will turn around.
The place they once called their home together now feels hostile and uncomfortable, the new miserable status quo. Neither of them are happy, but they're still trying. Or, at least, neither of them will address what is wrong, and they continue to go through the motions. Until Alisaie snaps again, over something simple he says, something inconsequential. The timing of the moons doesn't help, and with all three in full swing, and Sanguis is beginning to boil hot in his blood. Before he can get in another word, though, she leaves, heading out for some "fresh air", though it's clear she doesn't intend to return anytime soon.
And isn't that just how it's been lately? Maybe she'll return after he goes to bed so she won't have to deal with facing him again. With the guilt, or the awkwardness, or whatever the hell it is that she's feeling. He wouldn't know it, because his heart feels closed off to him. She's still trying, but for what? What's the point in trying to make him believe this lie anymore? It's — it's just —
He can't take one more day. This needs to end. Confrontation comes much, more easily to him as Sanguis settles in full into his bones, as does his ability to track. He leaves the apartment and steps out into the cool evening air, Alisaie's scent drifting upon the breeze, and he moves swiftly. Not quite a wolf, but not quite a man, either. Thick patches of fur form along his forearms and shoulders (and elsewhere, wink wonk), his nails grow sharp, his telltale(tail) ears and tail sprout as usual. Alisaie's scent is easy to follow, even if there is something...different about it this month.
Something he can't identify until he at least finds her, out by the beach, bathed in the light of the three moons. Her usual fox features have been cranked up to eleven, a number of graceful, sleek tails sprouting at her back, and the pheromones she gives off are considerably more potent than normal, which is saying something. It's...immediately distracting, but not enough to deter Prompto from why he came here. From why he sought her out in the first place.
Hesitating only a moment, he approaches her, fists already balled tightly at his side. ]
Just stepping out for some "quick fresh air", huh?
[ That quick fresh air sure turned into staying away from home for several hours instead. ]
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alisaie was sure that it would only be a matter of time. she remembers, after all - she remembers all of her time here, and her time with the circle. she remembers every moment spent with prompto, she remembers touching him and kissing him and how it felt to be in love with him, and it was not truly so very long ago. a year is no short amount of time, but neither is it an eternity, and as she settles back into life here the memories become stronger and stronger, until it feels almost natural to be here again.
.. almost.
yet still she feels like an outsider, like a puzzle piece that does not fit forced into place. it isn't only with prompto. it's everything. it's quick, easy meals. it's the quiet sound of the water. it's the streets thronging with people and prismals, all content, all happy, all living their lives without the threat of doom hanging over their heads. it's waking up every day to eat pancakes and work in a little book shop as if she has not spent the last year fighting for her life and the lives of countless others, watching her friends and loved ones suffer, helping hundreds of lives pass to the sunless sea before they could change into something painful and terrible.
she does not know how to adapt to everyday life again, and it is not getting easier, but instead more and more frustrating.
mayhaps she could speak with prompto - it might help. in the past she very well might have. but there is so much pain and disease in her heart that she has yet to process, and she does not know how to bring herself to speak about it, to tell him, or anyone, how she is feeling and, more importantly, why she is feeling that way. how can she explain that she cannot accept being happy and normal? how wrong is that, how foolish does it sound, even to her own ears? it's ludicrous. humiliating. she should be happy that there is peace here, and she is.
but gods, her heart is a thunderous tumult.
she takes it out on him. she knows she does. it's as if she can see her behavior through her own eyes and do nothing to stop it - the words are out before she can bite them back. she is snappish, and miserable, everything drives her mad, fuels her anger, and it is burning her up inside, eating her alive; she has no idea how to make it stop before it is too late and there is nothing of her left. and in this great storm of her heart and mind and spirit, how can she possibly find the time or energy to sort out her feelings for him? to find a way to love him again, when she cannot even find a way to simply exist here in peace? it's too much to contend with.
the evening air is crisp and chill, especially on the beach, where the ocean wind blows strong over the white-capped waves and catches in the hair she pulls down from its braid. it weaves through thick tufts of fur as the night wanes on and the moons rise high in the sky, changing her as it always does, though a little differently now. nine thick, lustrous tails, her ears tall and proud, her eyes a sharp and luminous gold - she looks as fierce and wild and dangerous as she feels, and when prompto's voice carries on the air she turns quickly, her tails lashing like whips behind her, angry and snapping. ]
What, would you prefer that I write you a schedule, next time? Or will you follow me like a wild dog, instead?
[ she says, her voice low and her long ears laid back against her hair. immediately she feels guilty for her tone, but her sense of reason is washed away by her own frustrations amplified by the light of the cordis moon, and his own fierce tone. he challenges her not only with his words and voice, but with his body, his posture, his scent, and gods she is ready to engage, to sink her teeth and claws into him and loose all the tension and fury on him that she has been only barely restraining for weeks. he offers her an outlet and she takes it without hesitation, all of her body tensing, leaning in his direction, sharp clawed toes digging bare into the sand, her too-bright eyes flickering in the dim evening light. ]
Is that what you need, little doggy? My constant attention? Shall I rub your belly and feed you a bone, as well?
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In any other state, this alone would be enough to break him, to reduce him to tears, but not now. Not when Sanguis is in control. She steps towards him and he does not step back, but forward himself, his eyes flashing dangerously, teeth bared in a grimace. It is not too unlike his encounter with Ardyn, he realizes in the back of his mind. He too goaded him with belittling words. And while Prompto has enough control over himself not to hurt Alisaie physically, the same cannot be said for the sharp words upon his tongue that sit like daggers, ready to be spewed. ]
Yeah, it'd kill you to throw me a bone, wouldn't it? Checks out, since you act like you can barely stand to be in the same room with me.
[ She was supposed to be someone who never grew sick of him. Who never grew tired of him, of his quirks and his big personality. She told him he was beautiful, that he was good enough, and now he isn't.
He swallows against the lump in his throat, focusing on his anger instead. ]
But lemme guess — it's not about me, isn't it? It's always been about you being comfortable and happy, no matter how long you make me wait. I wore you down last time, huh? Is that it? But that's not working this time. Doesn't work when you're too scared to face your own feelings, huh?
[ It's cruel. It's unfair. But his heart is bleeding, and with Sanguis firing on all cylinders in his blood, he can't stop it. ]
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I never asked for any of that!
[ she growls, sharp fangs flashing in the moonlight as she moves closer still, circling him like prey, her tails thick and bristly, puffed and writhing like snakes. ]
You make these sacrifices of your own choice, do not dare to blame me because you are too afraid to face your life - and yet you dare accuse me of - of --
[ it stings, and she deserves it, she knows - she is throwing words at him like daggers, and so it stands to reason that he would throw them right back, yet still they sink right into the meat of her heart, hooking in, holding fast. he isn't wrong. she has told him of norvrandt, but she has not told him everything, she has not told him what keeps her up at night, or of the plaguing nightmares, how she jumps at shadows, how it feels always as if she is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. she hasn't told him the important things, and it is not because she does not trust him, but because.. she is afraid. ]
Do not think I have not noticed how you tiptoe around me like a frightened little pup, because you cannot stand the idea of being on your own.
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But it doesn't even matter now, does it? She no longer finds his presence comforting or familiar. She treats him like a stranger, not a lover. Any of the intimacy they had is long gone, instead replaced by this sham of an act while he waits. But he is done waiting. He can't do this anymore.
But neither is she wrong. The thought of being on his own again, of living a life without her is...terrifying. Enough to make him dizzy, and snap him out of his fury for just a moment. ]
I...I-I...
[ No. He won't stand for being treated like this. He won't stand to be hurt like this. Sanguis won't allow it. Sanguis will not be cowed, and neither will Prompto.
He steps in front of her to cut off her pacing around him. A little fox shouldn't play with wolves. ]
Yeah, because I love you! I love you, Alisaie! — Oh, shit, sooo sorry, was I not supposed to say that? Forgot you were allergic to talking to me about anything that matters. Forgot you're so closed off now you don't even know how to let me love you! I get it — you've been through hell, but so have I, and you could, I don't know, maybe try talking to me about it for once without me having to weasel it out of you!
[ His voice goes low, quiet, and lethally serious. ]
I was waiting for you to be ready, but you know what? You're never gonna be. Because you're too goddamn scared. You're chocobo shit.
[ It isn't just this time, even if it's the worst instance so far. But how many times has he withheld things from him that she needed to talk about because she was too afraid to face them? Maybe she trusted him, but she sure as hell doesn't act like it. ]
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[ he cuts hard, and deep, and alisaie is, at first, too stunned even to react. he has stepped in her path, challenged her further still, and lanced his words straight through her heart. ]
You have no idea what I have -
[ and that is his point, isn't it? that he has no idea because she has not told him, because she has not opened herself. she is afraid. she does not know how to give words to the pain in her heart. but he takes it so damned personally every time. alisaie grits her sharp teeth, and lunges.
mayhaps it should not come to physicality, mayhaps it is below her, below them, but she has always spoken better with her sword than with her words, even without the light of the moons bearing down on her to greatly amplify it. she's positively rabid. alisaie launches herself at him bodily, with all of her might, slamming him down into the sand and pinning him back. ]
For someone with all the self assurance of a mewling babe, you can be so arrogant!
[ she snaps, baring her fangs ilms from his face, her claws digging into the sand around his wrists to pin them further. this fox is not afraid of wolves. ]
Not everything is about you! My pain is my own, you have no right to it simply because I care for you, if I choose not to tell you, it is not because I have some wild agenda to keep from trusting you - oh poor, poor Prompto, cannot possibly believe I care for him if I do not reveal every single thing! Shall I tear out my heart and lungs and guts for you, and present them upon a silver platter? Would that be enough for you?
[ somehow, she thinks it would not. alisaie's eyes narrow. ]
Your need to be loved is a bottomless hole, nothing will satisfy you!
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