[ Admittedly, some small part of him hoped she would have a reason to put this off, so he could continue to cower and hide from her a little bit longer, but...no, it's better this way. Much better, to get it all out in the open, to actually see her and talk to her again, to dress the wound in his heart that's been festering since he ran away from her. ]
ok i'll be there right away you know bc of the speediness :)
[ ...This hurts. But he's trying. Gods, he's trying. ]
[ she wants to find it in her to laugh, to force it if she must, to indulge his silly joke because he's attempting to keep things light - but for better or worse, alisaie is a painfully honest girl. she does not feel like laughing, and so, she cannot laugh. ]
i'll see you soon.
[ the nerves in her stomach are not butterflies, but snakes, snakes twisting over one another in a tight, uncomfortable knot, but she steps into her boots anyway, and stops by the kitchen to fill a basket with bread and cheese and some fruit to snack on before she's off to the lakeside. ]
[ Alisaie is not the only one who has made some preparations, though Prompto doesn't have the foresight to tell whether or not this is a bad idea. (It's probably a bad idea.) Still, it seems like it would be a nice gesture, and it doesn't really have to mean anything extra special, if she doesn't want it to. The last thing he wants to go is make her think he's pressuring her now. He just —
He just wants things to go back to the way they were, when they could laugh and talk together, when they saw each other every day, and messaged each other in between. Well — no, that's not exactly what he wants, because even now, he still wants...to be more, with her. But he heard her answer the first time, and if friends is all they will ever be, then that will be more than enough for him.
He's already so very lucky to have her in his life, someone he cherishes so much, someone he connects with so deeply.
Prompto beats Alisaie to the lakeside, of course. When she arrives, she will find him facing the water, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a bouquet of gathered wildflowers. He is unusually still, though whether that's because he's calm or because he is paralyzed by nerves remains to be seen.
(It's definitely the latter.)
At the sound of approaching footfalls, he turns to face her, his heart jumping into his throat to pound a mile a minute, but in spite of every uncomfortable moment that's existed between them this last week, a smile breaks out over his face, nervous but warm and genuine. ]
[ given her aggressive personality, one might never think that alisaie is the sort to be socially awkward or anxious, but that would be very wrong. the very reason she has developed this thick skin and forceful nature was to protect herself - she has no idea how to talk to people, she is intimidated by them, afraid of them.
she'd grown so comfortable with prompto.. to think she might have ruined it all..
watching his back as she approaches, her heart seizes up, and she feels the fiercely strong instinct to run from this. she can't. she won't. but still she feels the desire to. if they never speak again she cannot hurt him anymore, and she won't need to hear him tell her all the things he thinks about her.
but she owes him this much, at least, doesn't she? even if she would much rather have gotten it done with days ago. he turns, and she swallows thickly - are those.. flowers? why would he bring those? despite their obvious discomfort, however, he smiles in that way that has always lifted her heart, and alisaie feels that knot in her gut loosen just a little bit. ]
Well.. we cannot all be blessed with unnatural speed.
[ It's so good to see her, to see her and hear her voice, that for a moment, it's all that matters, like all the misgivings in his heart are immediately undone. Why hadn't he done this sooner? She's one of his dearest friends. She knows his heart about as well as anyone. It was inevitable that they would come back together like this, wasn't it?
...But of course, it's not quite so simple, and he knows that, too. His nerves still buzz like bees in his gut, and it takes all of his courage just to move past this moment, to step beyond her simple presence and move forward to why they are both here. ]
Heh...nah, some of us are blessed to become chocobos!
[ His smile is still weak, but he wears it still, as he at last closes the distance between them, and holds out the bouquet for her. ]
[ Well. They can be romantic if she wants. But he has no reason to suspect that she has changed her mind about their future together since their last conversation.
alisaie does not take them at first, because she's.. honestly quite confused, and it's written all over her face, from the quizzical tilt of her head to the crease in her brow. what on earth does he have to be sorry for? but movement kicks in, and alisaie lifts her hands to gently accept them. ]
They're beautiful..
[ her kind of flowers, really. wild and messy, without fancy ribbons or vases or wrapping. he knows what she likes even when he isn't thinking about it.
not romantic. that's.. good. isn't it? even though her ears flush a soft pink nevertheless. ]
[ He only then notices the basket on her arm, loaded up with goodies from the kitchen. It's a good sign, of course, that she hadn't intended to come here and ask him to never contact her again, and then leave immediately. She...intended to spend some time with him, if she thought to bring food. But that makes him nervous in a whole different way. ]
I mean — that's awesome! We can have our own little beach picnic. Great thinkin' as usual, Ali.
[ And then he takes a half-step towards the beach, motioning towards the shoreline. ]
Um...shall we?
[ Should they sit? He's not sure whether this conversation would be easier standing or sitting, but at least if he's sitting he won't be so tempted to pace around and burn a hole in the sand. ]
[ for that reason alone alisaie is inclined to sit. prompto's nervous energy can be tiring even at the best of times, and right now, he's sort of in overdrive. not that she can blame him. there's electricity in her blood too, though she's pushing it down, forcing it into a ball in her gut. no less healthy. but it is what it is. it manifests in her tension, the straightness of her spine and shoulders, the way her eyes don't seem to settle on anything, most especially not on him.
she's thankful for the basket. eating will give her something to do with her hands.
and so they sit, with the basket placed between them, and the little bundle of wildflowers laid gently at her side. what would you like to talk about? she very nearly asks, but that would be a foolish disservice - they both know why he has asked her here today. she has plenty that she would like to say herself, but he ran from her the last time she tried - she's sure he will not run again, but still.. for now, the floor is his, so instead of saying anything at all she only flicks her gaze up to his face and waits. ]
[ She won't have to wait long. Prompto has never been good at holding in words, even when he doesn't know what to say. And right now...he doesn't know what to say. He's thought about it a lot, of course. Considered what he would say when he saw her again, what he wanted to make sure she knew up front, how to best express himself. But he's no wordsmith. The best he can do is speak from his heart and hope that what he feels comes across, because this is kind of one of those "make it or break it" moments.
And he sure as hell isn't gonna break it. Not any more than he already has.
Swallowing thickly, he knits his fingers together over his middle, gesturing with his hands intertwined as he tries to work out his words. ]
Um...Alisaie, I...guess I got a lot to say...not surprising, huh? Um...
[ A quiet exhale, before his eyes dart up to meet her own. ]
Look, I...I'm sorry I...for the way I...left. Last time we talked. [ A little shake of his head. He could've handled it better, but he didn't, and he'd left her confused and dismayed. ] I-I just didn't know what else to do, my heart was...b-but that's not the point. I shouldn't be makin' excuses. I'm so sorry...for running away.
[ He isn't going to do that again. Not this time. ]
[ it's strange, when your predetermined assumptions don't line up with what you're learning, and while logically, sure, it makes perfect sense that he's sorry, that he hadn't meant to end things the way that he had, she's still spent quite a lot of time convincing herself that it was her own fault. that he must hate her. that she deserves it.
self-deprecation isn't something that alisaie normally wallows in, but to say that prompto has had a profound affect on her is.. well. true. he's so kind, so sweet, and she'd hurt him with her callousness, with the prickly shell she built up to keep herself safe. ]
I thought..
[ she starts, then swallows, and drops her gaze downward. ]
I thought that you.. that you would not want to see me again.
[ He can tell he's surprised her with his apology, but to him, it seems all but a given. It was the first thing he needed to say, and the fact that she's surprised at all just reinforces as much. He'd given her the wrong idea by running from her, and who could blame her? But just because he was heartbroken and despondent could never mean he wouldn't want to see her again. That could never be true.
His expression softens, eyes tightening at their corners. ]
Me? Never want to see you again? Nah, I-I was just bein' a big, ol' drama queen.
[ He'd cried, he'd spent time by himself, he'd tried to distract himself, he'd talked to his friends. Dealing with his feelings hadn't been an easy path, but it had been necessary, to bring him to this point, to bring his this close to acceptance. He still wishes he hadn't left as he did, but...it is what it is, and he can make things right now.
Or, at least, he hopes he can. ]
...I could never not want to see you again. You...you're one of my best friends. A-and even if...even if I want to be more than that, what I want most is for you to be happy. So...if that means we stay just friends? That's more than enough for me. I'm with you, no matter what.
[ Bonds like theirs are not easily broken, and he will see it preserved, no matter what it takes. ]
[ there's no denying that his words bring her great relief. it's evident in the way her tense shoulders begin to lower, her entire body beginning to relax. she's still nervous, but a heavy weight seems to have been lifted.
he does not hate her. he is not.. done with her, and really, she should have come to that conclusion herself, had she really given it the thought it required. prompto is the kindest person that she's ever known. he even likes and defends astoria, the airheaded fool who plucked them from their homes, who is, in a way, responsible for all of this - if he can forgive her, surely he cannot hate alisaie, right? ]
I am.. glad to hear that.
[ she says gently, swallowing around a dry throat. she thought that she was ready to say these words, but her nerves are still sparking with electricity, heat rising in her face. ]
You know that I.. that I feel the same. You mean a great deal to me, Prompto.
[ her voice is soft, her gaze flickering down and away; even now, it isn't exactly easy to admit feelings like this, even to him. ]
There is nothing I want more than to..
[ to be with him. ]
I only - it will be worse, so much worse, in the end..
And maybe he did, in the logical part of his brain. She'd told him as much before, before she'd turned him down, to soften the blow. For a time, he had assumed she did so to let him down easy, but that's...not like her. She wouldn't tell him something like that just to break his fall. But even so, it had been difficult to convince his heart of it, to really believe that Alisaie could...return his feelings. It's not only she says this again, now, that is truly starts to sink in, that he begins to believe it.
This isn't what she wants either. It's just what she thinks is best.
Heat rushes into his cheeks, his breath trembling as his gaze drops, almost demure. No one has ever...felt this way about his before. He's always been too awkward or too shy, but that it's Alisaie that returns his feelings is a whole other story.
Heart twisting in his chest, a bittersweet sensation sweeps through him from head to toe, smiling even as he blinks back tears.
Nothing worth having ever comes easy, does it? ]
...I know. E-even with the way things are now, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. But...
[ He looks up again, though for a moment, his gaze falls to her hand. He wants to take it, to feel its warmth in his own, but he won't. It's...better if he doesn't. He'll have to learn how to fight off that impulse. ]
A lot of impossible things have already happened, y'know? Like...the fact that we even met to begin with. It's...amazing. I guess I just...figure there must be some way we can all see each other again, once this is all over.
[ A beat, before he straightens a bit, his hands up to reassure. ]
A-and I don't mean that to, like, change your mind, or anything. I just want...whatever's gonna make you the most happy. That's what friends do, right? We back each other up.
[ Even if it means breaking his own heart in the process, and letting go of his tender dreams of some kind of future spent together...with her. ]
[ it's a fair point. alisaie has lost plenty of friends, and each and every time it was so terribly painful that she shied away from close contact again. losing prompto, and all the friends she has made in this place, will not be quite the same. they will not die, only be.. gone from her life, out of reach, and worse, forgotten. she remembers when she returned home, how many moons she lived on hydaelyn again before astoria saw fit to call her back again - and in all that time, she never once thought of prompto, she recalled nothing of this place, nor the people in it. somehow, that feels even worse.
and yet still he is so.. hopeful.
she cannot discount the possibility, however, of what he is saying. that they might find some way to see one another again, once the circle dissolves. alisaie is certainly no fan of astoria, but for all she seems boneheaded and foolish, she has never struck alisaie as needlessly cruel. mayhaps.. mayhaps she can be convinced.
but what if she cannot? ]
I.. am afraid.
[ which takes every ounce of her courage to admit. ]
I have lost so many people who are very dear to me, and that pain was - was horrible. I am so afraid of feeling it again that there is little I will not do to.. avoid it.
[ even, apparently, if that means cutting off relationships before they can begin to truly blossom. ]
[ His head dips as he listens, thoughtful, to what she admits to him now. She had told him something similar before, about how she had left home and found friendship only to lose it shortly thereafter. Of how it was difficult for her to grow close to people, because she was afraid of loss. Prompto...has lost people, too, but those losses had only served to drive him forward, to demonstrate to him the real cost of war and destruction and why it was so important that Noctis complete his task. He will see much more of it when he returns home, too. And yet...
It has never closed off his heart. If years and years of loneliness couldn't do that, then at this point, nothing could. However, he doesn't expect Alisaie to adopt his outlook. If maintaining this distance between them is what she needs to do in order to feel peace in her heart, then so be it. He will respect her feelings without question.
But it still seems important to talk about this, especially since she has opened the door. Gently as he can, he reaches over to squeeze her shoulder, before his hand drops away again. Better to not get...too touchy-feely, probably. Even if touchy-feely is kind of this thing. ]
Losing someone, it...sucks, big time. You can never really be ready for it, huh? When it comes, you just have to...deal with it. Figure it out, one way or another, even if it seems impossible just to put one foot in front of the other sometimes.
[ A beat, before his eyes lift to find her face. ]
You don't have to explain yourself to me, you know.
[ He would have accepted her answer as is, and he doesn't want her to feel obligated to tell him any more than she's comfortable with. He knows how difficult it is for her to open up, to show vulnerability like this. ]
[ of course she does not need to explain herself, she does not need to give him anything at all, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't. after all he has done for her, and how close they have grown, she owes it to him - to both of them - to make her feelings known. ]
I only want you to.. believe what I am telling you. To know that I am not simply making up silly excuses in order to let you down gently.
[ lying so openly about something so important is simply.. impossible for her, like as not she couldn't accomplish it even if she wanted to. honesty, however brutal, is written into her bones. ]
I have never.. u-um.
[ there goes her face again, flushing hot. ]
I have never had feelings for anyone, o-or had anyone admit feelings for me, before..
[ Ah. There she goes again, blushing and saying such impossibly wonderful things, and his heart cries out in protest, that he can't just lean over and kiss her, as much as he might like to. It's never going to be easy, is it? Ignoring the feelings in his heart. Yet it will get easier with time. The sting will lessen. He has no doubt that his feelings for her will persist, he feels far too strongly about her for them to evaporate entirely. But it will get easier. And besides, she'll still be his friend. What more can he ask for, when he is already so lucky to have someone so amazing at his side?
He laughs breathlessly, his face lighting up right to his hairline as he bites his lower lip. ]
Tch, I bet there's been a whole legion of people who've crushed on you before, but they were just too intimidated by how amazing you are to say anything! I'm just the first one who was crazy enough to open his mouth about it.
[ Because really, who wouldn't like her? She's so strong, and smart, and brave, she's been a harbor for him in his time here, made it so much easier than it would have otherwise been.
...Man, he is in so deep. ]
...I-I've never had...anyone, um, like me like this before, either. B-but I do believe you. Um...it was hard to, at first. You know how I get. [ He exhales. ] But...I believe you.
[ the wry look she gives him says far more than her words might - if he's going to absurdly claim that she's likely had plenty of admirers, then she can easily claim the same for him. he's kind and warm and sweet - what's not to like?
but they could debate that particular point back and forth all day, she's sure, so she'll let it drop with a look.
mostly, she's happy with his answer. ]
.. good. I hope you do not forget it.
[ the idea that he might have thought badly of her - gods, it was terrible. she could hardly bear the thought that he might have believed she was lying, that her feelings for him were not true or valid, though of course.. now she has to live knowing that he knows that they are. that her heart is right there in his hands, the nature of her feelings revealed, the memory of their kiss still resonant in the back of her mind.
is this even what she wants?
for now, she begins to unpack the basket of food. ]
Do you really think we will still be able to see one another? Once this is all over?
[ Some of the tension in the air has passed, though a considerable charge still remains, even if it is for...different reasons now. They are no longer worried about ruining their friendship through the nature of their feelings, but — something else. Being armed with the knowledge of the true nature of her feelings for him, and being unable to do anything about it. It's...weird, so weird, and yet he'll just have to grow used to it with time, too.
And at least he'll always have that first kiss to look back on, and without any regrets. No, he could never regret that.
To her question, he is, of course, quick to answer. ]
Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, there are people in the Circle who have visited other worlds before, so I gotta believe it's possible. Y'know, I...talked to Rion about it, because she's dating someone from a different world, and...she told me she didn't think there was any one solution to a problem. So, I like to think...there's some way we could figure it all out.
[ He shrugs a shoulder, his smile slanting. ]
Just because we might end up on opposite sides of the universe doesn't mean you're gonna be rid of me that easily.
[ Especially if what Alisaie had told him about Eos is true, and how it could be a fragment of her very own Hydaelyn. This isn't even him trying to convince her of anything — it just seems so plain to him, that there must be a way. ]
[ the food is all spread out now on a little tea towel between them, bread and fruit (and cookies) fresh from the kitchens, and while she rolls a heel of bread around beneath her fingertips, she makes no move to eat it, just yet. instead she's quiet, thoughtful. ]
Do you promise?
[ she asks at last, her gaze flickering up to his face, and while her expression is soft and demure, she does not shy away from looking at him now, her eyes meeting his, gently pleading, awaiting the affirmation that she needs to hear. ]
Do you promise that it will not be the end? That you will find me? That you will not.. forget?
[ For a moment, he isn't sure what she's asking, until she clarifies her question. Slowly, his smile fades into something more serious, reflective, and for a long moment, he only returns her gaze, and contemplates, while his heart starts to race again.
What she's asking of him isn't an easy promise to make. She herself had returned home for a time, and did not remember this place. So had Gladio. Ignis, too, is returned to Eos now, and likely doesn't remember that he was ever a part of a Circle, helping to save worlds beyond their own, making friendships that ought to have been impossible. So very little of this is in their control, and so very little is even in Astoria's control. What if he makes this promise, and then tomorrow, he disappears? He forgets? Is he being impractical, in his fanciful belief that it will all work out in the end?
But it is not the first time he has had to make such a choice. Noctis had disappeared into the Crystal, and yet Prompto knows in his heart that he will return to Lucis in time. Sure, there might be some old prophecy to assist him on that one, but it's so much more than that. It comes down to what's in his heart, to what he feels, and when it comes to those he cares for, Prompto deals in absolutes.
He is quite for a long moment, so desperate to say the right thing, but terrified that he won't. In the end, as ever, all he can do is speak from his heart. Maybe it's foolish and impractical and unreasonable, but his heart has never led him astray before. ]
...yes. I promise.
[ There is nothing that could keep him apart from her, from his dear friend, his...Alisaie. Maybe he's made a mistake in believing it so easily, but he would rather believe that than anything else, than think, for a moment, of a future where he doesn't know her. ]
[ she knows that it's asking a lot of him - too much of him, maybe - to answer a question like this, to make a promise like this. none of this is in their control, and he cannot help what may or may not happen to them. it's selfish to ask, and almost cruel.
and yet she asks it anyway, needing to hear the answer, needing to know what he will say.
her exhale leaves her in a soft sigh. his answer is what she had expected, and hoped for, and he gives it with such complete and incredible conviction that she cannot help to believe him. he promises. he promises, and despite all the overwhelming power and evidence against them, she knows that it is a promise he will keep.
carefully, alisaie slips her hand into his, her fingers seeking his own, winding between them, her voice soft, quiet. ]
[ Her sigh tells him what he desperately wanted to know, which is that that was the right answer, as terrifying as it might have been to give. But he has no regrets in giving it to her. He means it, wholly. He will do whatever it takes to see her again once their time with the Circle ends. His heart will never forget her, even if his mind might. In the end, it was an easy answer to give, because it's the only one for him.
However, he isn't expecting her to take his hand, and immediately, the contact has his heart skyrocketing into his throat, and his face flushing anew. He'd though...he'd thought her mind was made up, that there was no convincing her, that they would stay just friends. He hadn't said any of this in an attempt to convince her to see things his way. His words would remain the same, were they friends or...or more. But the way she takes his hand then, weaving her fingers through his...
Had he been mistaken? Had she...not closed herself off to the possibility?
His breath catches as his eyes are drawn to their joined hands between them, but only for a moment, before he lifts his gaze back to her own. ]
...Alisaie?
[ Her name is a question that contains his entire heart. ]
[ to be honest, even alisaie does not know what she wants.
well, that is not entirely true. she knows what she wants, of course - she wants to continue exploring this thing, to be close with him, to dip her toe into the waters of courtship, and the sort of closeness she has never really known. she wants to follow her heart, to lean into his touch, into all that he offers, and navigate.. whatever this is, with him.
that is what she wants. even if she also feels that it is not what is best, for either of them.
and yet, when he says her name that way, quiet and gentle and so poignantly, she cannot help herself - thoughtlessly she leans forward, and presses a warm, chaste kiss to his cheek, bumping her nose to his skin. even that much is enough to make her heart leap up into her throat, fluttering fast, her hand in his clasping tightly, trembling. ]
She kissed his cheek. Unprompted, all of her own volition. This is no birthday kiss, and it doesn't seem like a kiss of gratitude or appreciation either, one that she might have given him as a friend. As soon as her lips make contact with his cheek, his brows fly up as he gasps softly, reaching up to press his fingers to the lingering spot of warmth and wetness her kiss had left there.
It was real. He didn't dream it. Alisaie kissed his cheek, and she's still holding his hand tight, like its anchoring her as much as its anchoring him.
For a moment, all he can do is gaze at her with something between surprise and wonderment in his eyes, trying to piece this all together in his mind, trying to understand what it means. But instead of responding with something eloquent or sweet, or a kiss of his own to return the favor, in true Prompto fashion, he blurts out: ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
ok
i'll be there right away
you know
bc of the speediness :)
[ ...This hurts. But he's trying. Gods, he's trying. ]
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i'll see you soon.
[ the nerves in her stomach are not butterflies, but snakes, snakes twisting over one another in a tight, uncomfortable knot, but she steps into her boots anyway, and stops by the kitchen to fill a basket with bread and cheese and some fruit to snack on before she's off to the lakeside. ]
no subject
He just wants things to go back to the way they were, when they could laugh and talk together, when they saw each other every day, and messaged each other in between. Well — no, that's not exactly what he wants, because even now, he still wants...to be more, with her. But he heard her answer the first time, and if friends is all they will ever be, then that will be more than enough for him.
He's already so very lucky to have her in his life, someone he cherishes so much, someone he connects with so deeply.
Prompto beats Alisaie to the lakeside, of course. When she arrives, she will find him facing the water, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a bouquet of gathered wildflowers. He is unusually still, though whether that's because he's calm or because he is paralyzed by nerves remains to be seen.
(It's definitely the latter.)
At the sound of approaching footfalls, he turns to face her, his heart jumping into his throat to pound a mile a minute, but in spite of every uncomfortable moment that's existed between them this last week, a smile breaks out over his face, nervous but warm and genuine. ]
...H-hey. Took you long enough, slowpoke.
[ Breathe. Just breathe. ]
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she'd grown so comfortable with prompto.. to think she might have ruined it all..
watching his back as she approaches, her heart seizes up, and she feels the fiercely strong instinct to run from this. she can't. she won't. but still she feels the desire to. if they never speak again she cannot hurt him anymore, and she won't need to hear him tell her all the things he thinks about her.
but she owes him this much, at least, doesn't she? even if she would much rather have gotten it done with days ago. he turns, and she swallows thickly - are those.. flowers? why would he bring those? despite their obvious discomfort, however, he smiles in that way that has always lifted her heart, and alisaie feels that knot in her gut loosen just a little bit. ]
Well.. we cannot all be blessed with unnatural speed.
no subject
...But of course, it's not quite so simple, and he knows that, too. His nerves still buzz like bees in his gut, and it takes all of his courage just to move past this moment, to step beyond her simple presence and move forward to why they are both here. ]
Heh...nah, some of us are blessed to become chocobos!
[ His smile is still weak, but he wears it still, as he at last closes the distance between them, and holds out the bouquet for her. ]
H-here. Um...these are...for you. N-not in any, uh — y'know, um...r-romantic way! They're "I'm sorry" flowers.
[ Well. They can be romantic if she wants. But he has no reason to suspect that she has changed her mind about their future together since their last conversation.
...Gods, he has no idea what he's doing. ]
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alisaie does not take them at first, because she's.. honestly quite confused, and it's written all over her face, from the quizzical tilt of her head to the crease in her brow. what on earth does he have to be sorry for? but movement kicks in, and alisaie lifts her hands to gently accept them. ]
They're beautiful..
[ her kind of flowers, really. wild and messy, without fancy ribbons or vases or wrapping. he knows what she likes even when he isn't thinking about it.
not romantic. that's.. good. isn't it? even though her ears flush a soft pink nevertheless. ]
I brought.. um. Some lunch.
no subject
[ He only then notices the basket on her arm, loaded up with goodies from the kitchen. It's a good sign, of course, that she hadn't intended to come here and ask him to never contact her again, and then leave immediately. She...intended to spend some time with him, if she thought to bring food. But that makes him nervous in a whole different way. ]
I mean — that's awesome! We can have our own little beach picnic. Great thinkin' as usual, Ali.
[ And then he takes a half-step towards the beach, motioning towards the shoreline. ]
Um...shall we?
[ Should they sit? He's not sure whether this conversation would be easier standing or sitting, but at least if he's sitting he won't be so tempted to pace around and burn a hole in the sand. ]
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she's thankful for the basket. eating will give her something to do with her hands.
and so they sit, with the basket placed between them, and the little bundle of wildflowers laid gently at her side. what would you like to talk about? she very nearly asks, but that would be a foolish disservice - they both know why he has asked her here today. she has plenty that she would like to say herself, but he ran from her the last time she tried - she's sure he will not run again, but still.. for now, the floor is his, so instead of saying anything at all she only flicks her gaze up to his face and waits. ]
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And he sure as hell isn't gonna break it. Not any more than he already has.
Swallowing thickly, he knits his fingers together over his middle, gesturing with his hands intertwined as he tries to work out his words. ]
Um...Alisaie, I...guess I got a lot to say...not surprising, huh? Um...
[ A quiet exhale, before his eyes dart up to meet her own. ]
Look, I...I'm sorry I...for the way I...left. Last time we talked. [ A little shake of his head. He could've handled it better, but he didn't, and he'd left her confused and dismayed. ] I-I just didn't know what else to do, my heart was...b-but that's not the point. I shouldn't be makin' excuses. I'm so sorry...for running away.
[ He isn't going to do that again. Not this time. ]
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self-deprecation isn't something that alisaie normally wallows in, but to say that prompto has had a profound affect on her is.. well. true. he's so kind, so sweet, and she'd hurt him with her callousness, with the prickly shell she built up to keep herself safe. ]
I thought..
[ she starts, then swallows, and drops her gaze downward. ]
I thought that you.. that you would not want to see me again.
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His expression softens, eyes tightening at their corners. ]
Me? Never want to see you again? Nah, I-I was just bein' a big, ol' drama queen.
[ He'd cried, he'd spent time by himself, he'd tried to distract himself, he'd talked to his friends. Dealing with his feelings hadn't been an easy path, but it had been necessary, to bring him to this point, to bring his this close to acceptance. He still wishes he hadn't left as he did, but...it is what it is, and he can make things right now.
Or, at least, he hopes he can. ]
...I could never not want to see you again. You...you're one of my best friends. A-and even if...even if I want to be more than that, what I want most is for you to be happy. So...if that means we stay just friends? That's more than enough for me. I'm with you, no matter what.
[ Bonds like theirs are not easily broken, and he will see it preserved, no matter what it takes. ]
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he does not hate her. he is not.. done with her, and really, she should have come to that conclusion herself, had she really given it the thought it required. prompto is the kindest person that she's ever known. he even likes and defends astoria, the airheaded fool who plucked them from their homes, who is, in a way, responsible for all of this - if he can forgive her, surely he cannot hate alisaie, right? ]
I am.. glad to hear that.
[ she says gently, swallowing around a dry throat. she thought that she was ready to say these words, but her nerves are still sparking with electricity, heat rising in her face. ]
You know that I.. that I feel the same. You mean a great deal to me, Prompto.
[ her voice is soft, her gaze flickering down and away; even now, it isn't exactly easy to admit feelings like this, even to him. ]
There is nothing I want more than to..
[ to be with him. ]
I only - it will be worse, so much worse, in the end..
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And maybe he did, in the logical part of his brain. She'd told him as much before, before she'd turned him down, to soften the blow. For a time, he had assumed she did so to let him down easy, but that's...not like her. She wouldn't tell him something like that just to break his fall. But even so, it had been difficult to convince his heart of it, to really believe that Alisaie could...return his feelings. It's not only she says this again, now, that is truly starts to sink in, that he begins to believe it.
This isn't what she wants either. It's just what she thinks is best.
Heat rushes into his cheeks, his breath trembling as his gaze drops, almost demure. No one has ever...felt this way about his before. He's always been too awkward or too shy, but that it's Alisaie that returns his feelings is a whole other story.
Heart twisting in his chest, a bittersweet sensation sweeps through him from head to toe, smiling even as he blinks back tears.
Nothing worth having ever comes easy, does it? ]
...I know. E-even with the way things are now, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. But...
[ He looks up again, though for a moment, his gaze falls to her hand. He wants to take it, to feel its warmth in his own, but he won't. It's...better if he doesn't. He'll have to learn how to fight off that impulse. ]
A lot of impossible things have already happened, y'know? Like...the fact that we even met to begin with. It's...amazing. I guess I just...figure there must be some way we can all see each other again, once this is all over.
[ A beat, before he straightens a bit, his hands up to reassure. ]
A-and I don't mean that to, like, change your mind, or anything. I just want...whatever's gonna make you the most happy. That's what friends do, right? We back each other up.
[ Even if it means breaking his own heart in the process, and letting go of his tender dreams of some kind of future spent together...with her. ]
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and yet still he is so.. hopeful.
she cannot discount the possibility, however, of what he is saying. that they might find some way to see one another again, once the circle dissolves. alisaie is certainly no fan of astoria, but for all she seems boneheaded and foolish, she has never struck alisaie as needlessly cruel. mayhaps.. mayhaps she can be convinced.
but what if she cannot? ]
I.. am afraid.
[ which takes every ounce of her courage to admit. ]
I have lost so many people who are very dear to me, and that pain was - was horrible. I am so afraid of feeling it again that there is little I will not do to.. avoid it.
[ even, apparently, if that means cutting off relationships before they can begin to truly blossom. ]
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It has never closed off his heart. If years and years of loneliness couldn't do that, then at this point, nothing could. However, he doesn't expect Alisaie to adopt his outlook. If maintaining this distance between them is what she needs to do in order to feel peace in her heart, then so be it. He will respect her feelings without question.
But it still seems important to talk about this, especially since she has opened the door. Gently as he can, he reaches over to squeeze her shoulder, before his hand drops away again. Better to not get...too touchy-feely, probably. Even if touchy-feely is kind of this thing. ]
Losing someone, it...sucks, big time. You can never really be ready for it, huh? When it comes, you just have to...deal with it. Figure it out, one way or another, even if it seems impossible just to put one foot in front of the other sometimes.
[ A beat, before his eyes lift to find her face. ]
You don't have to explain yourself to me, you know.
[ He would have accepted her answer as is, and he doesn't want her to feel obligated to tell him any more than she's comfortable with. He knows how difficult it is for her to open up, to show vulnerability like this. ]
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I know.
[ of course she does not need to explain herself, she does not need to give him anything at all, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't. after all he has done for her, and how close they have grown, she owes it to him - to both of them - to make her feelings known. ]
I only want you to.. believe what I am telling you. To know that I am not simply making up silly excuses in order to let you down gently.
[ lying so openly about something so important is simply.. impossible for her, like as not she couldn't accomplish it even if she wanted to. honesty, however brutal, is written into her bones. ]
I have never.. u-um.
[ there goes her face again, flushing hot. ]
I have never had feelings for anyone, o-or had anyone admit feelings for me, before..
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He laughs breathlessly, his face lighting up right to his hairline as he bites his lower lip. ]
Tch, I bet there's been a whole legion of people who've crushed on you before, but they were just too intimidated by how amazing you are to say anything! I'm just the first one who was crazy enough to open his mouth about it.
[ Because really, who wouldn't like her? She's so strong, and smart, and brave, she's been a harbor for him in his time here, made it so much easier than it would have otherwise been.
...Man, he is in so deep. ]
...I-I've never had...anyone, um, like me like this before, either. B-but I do believe you. Um...it was hard to, at first. You know how I get. [ He exhales. ] But...I believe you.
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but they could debate that particular point back and forth all day, she's sure, so she'll let it drop with a look.
mostly, she's happy with his answer. ]
.. good. I hope you do not forget it.
[ the idea that he might have thought badly of her - gods, it was terrible. she could hardly bear the thought that he might have believed she was lying, that her feelings for him were not true or valid, though of course.. now she has to live knowing that he knows that they are. that her heart is right there in his hands, the nature of her feelings revealed, the memory of their kiss still resonant in the back of her mind.
is this even what she wants?
for now, she begins to unpack the basket of food. ]
Do you really think we will still be able to see one another? Once this is all over?
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And at least he'll always have that first kiss to look back on, and without any regrets. No, he could never regret that.
To her question, he is, of course, quick to answer. ]
Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, there are people in the Circle who have visited other worlds before, so I gotta believe it's possible. Y'know, I...talked to Rion about it, because she's dating someone from a different world, and...she told me she didn't think there was any one solution to a problem. So, I like to think...there's some way we could figure it all out.
[ He shrugs a shoulder, his smile slanting. ]
Just because we might end up on opposite sides of the universe doesn't mean you're gonna be rid of me that easily.
[ Especially if what Alisaie had told him about Eos is true, and how it could be a fragment of her very own Hydaelyn. This isn't even him trying to convince her of anything — it just seems so plain to him, that there must be a way. ]
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Do you promise?
[ she asks at last, her gaze flickering up to his face, and while her expression is soft and demure, she does not shy away from looking at him now, her eyes meeting his, gently pleading, awaiting the affirmation that she needs to hear. ]
Do you promise that it will not be the end? That you will find me? That you will not.. forget?
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What she's asking of him isn't an easy promise to make. She herself had returned home for a time, and did not remember this place. So had Gladio. Ignis, too, is returned to Eos now, and likely doesn't remember that he was ever a part of a Circle, helping to save worlds beyond their own, making friendships that ought to have been impossible. So very little of this is in their control, and so very little is even in Astoria's control. What if he makes this promise, and then tomorrow, he disappears? He forgets? Is he being impractical, in his fanciful belief that it will all work out in the end?
But it is not the first time he has had to make such a choice. Noctis had disappeared into the Crystal, and yet Prompto knows in his heart that he will return to Lucis in time. Sure, there might be some old prophecy to assist him on that one, but it's so much more than that. It comes down to what's in his heart, to what he feels, and when it comes to those he cares for, Prompto deals in absolutes.
He is quite for a long moment, so desperate to say the right thing, but terrified that he won't. In the end, as ever, all he can do is speak from his heart. Maybe it's foolish and impractical and unreasonable, but his heart has never led him astray before. ]
...yes. I promise.
[ There is nothing that could keep him apart from her, from his dear friend, his...Alisaie. Maybe he's made a mistake in believing it so easily, but he would rather believe that than anything else, than think, for a moment, of a future where he doesn't know her. ]
I'm not goin' anywhere.
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and yet she asks it anyway, needing to hear the answer, needing to know what he will say.
her exhale leaves her in a soft sigh. his answer is what she had expected, and hoped for, and he gives it with such complete and incredible conviction that she cannot help to believe him. he promises. he promises, and despite all the overwhelming power and evidence against them, she knows that it is a promise he will keep.
carefully, alisaie slips her hand into his, her fingers seeking his own, winding between them, her voice soft, quiet. ]
I will hold you to that.
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However, he isn't expecting her to take his hand, and immediately, the contact has his heart skyrocketing into his throat, and his face flushing anew. He'd though...he'd thought her mind was made up, that there was no convincing her, that they would stay just friends. He hadn't said any of this in an attempt to convince her to see things his way. His words would remain the same, were they friends or...or more. But the way she takes his hand then, weaving her fingers through his...
Had he been mistaken? Had she...not closed herself off to the possibility?
His breath catches as his eyes are drawn to their joined hands between them, but only for a moment, before he lifts his gaze back to her own. ]
...Alisaie?
[ Her name is a question that contains his entire heart. ]
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well, that is not entirely true. she knows what she wants, of course - she wants to continue exploring this thing, to be close with him, to dip her toe into the waters of courtship, and the sort of closeness she has never really known. she wants to follow her heart, to lean into his touch, into all that he offers, and navigate.. whatever this is, with him.
that is what she wants. even if she also feels that it is not what is best, for either of them.
and yet, when he says her name that way, quiet and gentle and so poignantly, she cannot help herself - thoughtlessly she leans forward, and presses a warm, chaste kiss to his cheek, bumping her nose to his skin. even that much is enough to make her heart leap up into her throat, fluttering fast, her hand in his clasping tightly, trembling. ]
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She kissed his cheek. Unprompted, all of her own volition. This is no birthday kiss, and it doesn't seem like a kiss of gratitude or appreciation either, one that she might have given him as a friend. As soon as her lips make contact with his cheek, his brows fly up as he gasps softly, reaching up to press his fingers to the lingering spot of warmth and wetness her kiss had left there.
It was real. He didn't dream it. Alisaie kissed his cheek, and she's still holding his hand tight, like its anchoring her as much as its anchoring him.
For a moment, all he can do is gaze at her with something between surprise and wonderment in his eyes, trying to piece this all together in his mind, trying to understand what it means. But instead of responding with something eloquent or sweet, or a kiss of his own to return the favor, in true Prompto fashion, he blurts out: ]
Okay, now I'm really confused.
[ Has she...changed her mind? ]
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